Slipping In, Checking Out

Exploring bunkers at Cape Disappointment Fort Canby - YouTube

“Let me out! For God’s sake, let me oooout!”

Smoke hung heavy in the air as he dove headfirst into the darkened corridor, obscuring his vision as the howling of their prisoners nearly drowned out everything else. Her senses were reeling, but she couldn’t help herself as she moved forward, feeling with her outstretched hands as the heat within the enclosed space was stifling, grabbing at her as though it were alive.

Where in the hell was she? Only a moment before she’d been watching her step so she didn’t slip on the wet leaves that led into the tunnel beyond, and now her couldn’t see more than a foot in front of her face. A heavy whining sound reached her hearing at that moment, and in the next breath she was thrown off of her feet as she collided heavily with the rough ground beneath her. Letting out a groan of pain as she felt something burning in her side, Kate moaned as she tried to roll over to her front, her skull pounding as though a giant had just wrapped his meaty, calloused hand over it. As she reached her knees, she fully expected to see little more than devastation all around her, but instead-

“Kate, are you okay?”

(to be continued)

Not the Program

Thinking for yourself isn’t what those in charge want right now, but they definitely preach it.

That’s part of the program, right?

It’s a little too easy to let people do the thinking for you, isn’t it?

People don’t want to think that they’re sheep, they don’t want to believe that they don’t have the power of free will and can make their own decisions. It’s a tough thing to do sometimes, isn’t it? But the fact is that if you don’t think for yourself then you might as well turn in your frontal lobe and call it a day, because some people already appear to have done that. What’s the argument you ask? Well, that’s complicated, since each root argument about free will tends to branch off like a radish into the most rational and the most radical lines of thought that one could possibly imagine. But one of the most concrete thoughts you could have in this world, no matter who you are, is that your thoughts are your own. It sounds too simple, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it’s so simple that people don’t trust it, they want to dismantle it, and they want to make it as difficult as possible to justify their own line of thinking. Sadly, people listen to this.

The idea of being ‘woke’ is a joke, as I’ll keep saying it.

The woke thoughts that people want you to believe have some merit at times, but when they cross the line and start taking away the freedoms that people profess they love and want to protect, well, it becomes a seriously ridiculous turn that turns into a tangled ball of bullshit that is nearly impossible to unravel after the brainwashing that’s been done. It’s not impossible, but it is definitely a work in progress that takes years to undo. Is it college that does it? Well, college is one place it can happen, especially when a university is salted with brainwashed nutjobs that are trained on how to display the world so that people will think the way they do. But you know what I have to say to that?


Now, and always.

Burger Chain Fires 200 Employees Following Rise in Minimum Wage (parody)

Machines need maintenance, not a paycheck.

LaCenter, Washington

A local McDonald’s was shut down today for a period of three hours, just long enough for the new, automated system to be brought online to serve the customers. Former employees were on hand to watch as the fast food restaurant opened to a line of waiting customers, and several of them were seen shaking their heads as they realized what they’d done.

Reportedly just a month earlier, the many employees of the restaurant banded together to demand that the owner of the establishment raise their base pay to $20, which is a little over $6 greater than the current minimum wage. When the owner attempted to compromise by raising the base pay to $16, the employees refused. When the employees confronted the manager and asked if he was prepared to lose his employees, it’s been said that several of the employees were brave enough to taunt the owner by asking him who he would replace them with. Unbeknownst to the employees, the owner, Alonso Angelo Jr., had already ordered an entire automated system worth a whopping $6.65million, not including the installation.

Sadly, this means that six other restaurants have been closed within a fifty-mile radius to absorb the cost, which indicates that if more McDonald’s were to go automated, more would close as a result. As for the employees, several of them have reportedly sought work at other fast food chains, and none of them were available for comment.

Single Mother Fends Off “Peaceful” Protestors (parody)

What It's like to Be a Single Mom | ParentMap

Vancouver, WA

One might have thought that 2016 to 2020 would be the last that anyone might have heard of ‘peaceful’ protests initiated by those who believed themselves to be downtrodden and demoralized by a simple election, but only a few days ago a single mother in Vancouver, WA found it necessary to remind a group of protestors that black bloc has gone out of style and that no one has any time for such antics any longer. Mother of one, Tanequa Harrison, was at home with her 3-year old son, Colin, when she noticed flickering lights accompanied by shouts of ‘Down with Trump’ and many other similar cries ringing throughout the streets.

“I thought all that noise was put behind us a couple of years ago,” Tanequa stated, laughing, “I thought those folks looting and smashing buildings and plugging up the streets years ago were bad enough. A bunch of morons causin’ a bunch of noise for no good reason. I mean really, they’re not teaching anyone anything, other than how to be patient with the rising ignorance that’s such a problem in our society these days.”

When protestors noticed Tanequa standing on front stoop, several of them began to catcall her in an effort to make her realize that her home was an example of white privilege. When two of them tried to force her back inside, Tanequa refused, and gave them a piece of her mind, as well as her right shoe. The two protestors threatened to call the police, but were beaten to the punch when it was revealed that two police officers had been following the protestors to ensure that no one was hurt. Upon seeing the disturbance, the protesters were arrested and charged accordingly.

“They tried to push me back into my home talking about ‘white privilege’ and stuff. I did exactly what my own mother would have done, I tried to knock some sense into them with my shoe. They didn’t know how to react at first, but then they said they’d call the cops. Lucky for me the cops were already around.”

At this time, Tanequa has not been charged, but the two protesters, who have been identified as Antifa members, have been charged with assault.

Barista Backs Down Angry Mob (parody)

Worst parts of working at Starbucks, according to baristas - Business  Insider

Portland, OR

In an event that has been described by many bystanders as stunning and yet ‘undeniably pathetic’, a local barista took a stand against an angry mob a few days ago. Martha Mayhew, one of the top baristas in the city, had a minor supply setback on September 1st and had to decide whether to open shop or stay closed for the day, which would have lost her coffee stand a substantial amount of business for the day and possibly for month had she not acted quickly and decisively.

“I already had an angry mob on my doorstep, and I wish I was exaggerating” Martha stated, “They were threatening to break in and get their morning coffee on their own if I didn’t open the doors. I’m happy that I have such a devoted number of customers, but I didn’t expect them to threaten me if they didn’t get their morning bean juice. I mean, come on, I know that Portlanders are crazy about their coffee, but there’s a shop every few hundred yards, there was no need to get aggressive.”

Reportedly, Martha slipped out the back of the shop in order to find the nearest grocers after discovering that the store hadn’t resupplied by the owner the week before. While the owner wasn’t available for comment, Martha has made it clear that she feels lucky to have the help of the local grocer, who decided to remain nameless, since the individual not only helped to resupply the store, but agreed to wave a substantial portion of their fee for this act of kindness. As for Martha, the savior of the day, many of the disgruntled and under-caffeinated Portland natives were duly impressed, after they overcame their irritation, when she calmly told them that they could wait patiently for their morning latte, or they could make their way to the next coffee shop down the street.

“She was calm and composed,” said one of those who threatened to break down the doors, “She actually told me I could park it and wait or move my happy a** down the way. Normally I’m not intimidated by anyone, but the way she said this, I felt my sphincter tremble.”

As of now, the coffee shop is back in full swing, and many of the regulars have done their best to spread the belief that Martha is one of the ‘toughest baristas in all of Oregon’.


I mean, I know it’s old news, but the lesson still needs to be given.
You might be a... - Imgflip
What happens if you’re a Cardinals fan?
100+ Funny Liberal Memes That Are Impossible And Hilarious - GEEKS ON COFFEE
So let’s be fair and say it’s not all liberals…and hope that doesn’t offend anyone. If it does, meh.

Seriously, I’d love to hear thoughts on this, even if they’re not thoughts I agree with. The fact that these ideas and memes are still accurate is kind of sad, but it’s a crazy world we live in.

The First Story (part V)

It’s interesting to see the human perspective at times, especially since so many of them tend to believe that their stories are what will change their world, or keep it running in a manner that will build a strong foundation for the next generation. That’s what stories are all about after all, they’re a base used to preserve the knowledge of a species, and it’s why humans are made to guess about the world around them so often. If anyone were to pick my brain about the stories that have come and gone, they’d likely disbelieve me, since humans are stubborn as hell, not to mention arrogant when it comes to what they know and what they think they know.

The first story started long before I remember, and I remember a lot, but I do catch glimpses of it every now and then, and it’s not something that’s easy to put into words. I know what that sounds like, since the vague notion that anyone could give when it comes to describing something that’s thought to be so grand in such a simple and uncertain manner would make me a laughingstock. I’m sued to it, and I’ve refrained from letting people know about it for many of the lives I’ve taken on over the years. A lot of people don’t believe that a 6-year old has the imagination that people have stated I’ve had over the years, and I don’t blame them. But if they knew that it wasn’t imagination, that it was a recitation of the facts, well, they might not be able to handle it.

They weren’t capable of that back in the day, I can tell you that.

(to be continued)

The First Story (part IV)

I think of all the stories I have seen come and go over the years, from the formless to those that have been given form, and I wonder how humans can be so narrow-minded to think that the scope of their lives can echo into eternity. Don’t get wrong, each one does, but it’s a gentle ping against the measured span of something that even I can’t really comprehend. Every time I come ‘awake’ not ‘woke’ mind you like some of those morons that think they have a handle on this world, I’m six years of age, and I remember everything. When I say that, I don’t just mean the previous life. I remember EVERYTHING.

That’s kind of why I feel that I was brought into the middle of something, or maybe into the second act, as humans would understand it. Of course, there have been days when I think I’m in the third act, since so many humans think that we’re living in the end of days. They have no idea what it means to watch a civilization actually die out. I’ve seen it, and that shit isn’t pretty. Imagine an entire race of people either giving up, killing each other, or finding a way to eradicate each other with the worst possible methods to be found. That’s serious hatred, and todays ‘woke’ individuals have no idea what real horror and oppression is like. I do wish I could tell them, but a lot of these nitwits wouldn’t believe me in the first place.

Back in the day, I could have been considered a god for all the things I know. Now, I’d just be another kook for opening my mouth. The story that’s still being told has reached a seriously messed-up chapter, but all I can do is keep observing and taking notes. The final story is coming at some point, but the first story is still being told.

(to be continued)

The First Story (part III)

It’s amazing to realize that when we look up at the night sky that many people think of emptiness, of absolute nothing. To be fair, such a though is kind of nihilistic in nature as well. Maybe that’s not the right word, because plenty of people do look to the heavens in order to seek guidance, understanding, and perhaps even a glimpse of the final reward that they believe is there, waiting for them when the lights go out for the final time.

I don’t want to spoil that thought, even if I’ve been there and know that this universe, this reality, isn’t empty, but it’s not built the way that others think. I’m not an atheist, I do believe that there’s a higher power at work. But as far as guiding us goes, that force is kind of like an absentee parent that comes around every so often to shake things up and remind us that life has meaning. The only trick is that we don’t get any definitive answer from a higher source, unlike many religions would tell you. What we get are mixed messages that have to be deciphered and are often taken to extremes that a lot of people get annoyed with and don’t want to think about.

A story that’s been told can be received in many ways. But one of the things I’ve learned in my long, long existence in this world is this: people will believe what they want. Even if a person follows someone else and subscribes completely to their idea, they still do so because they want to believe in something. Telling people that the story of this world began with nothing doesn’t force them to invest a lot. In fact, it kind of has the opposite effect, since many who think that they have a good handle on how the world works are bound to think that they know better. Hell, ask any organized religion and you’ll get a sermon on how the world was created by this deity, or that deity. People say they want to hear the truth, but in reality, they want to hear a validation of their beliefs.

They don’t want the truth, they want THEIR truth.

(to be continued)

The First Story (part II)

Imagine being formless, but able to recognize that you have no substance. Imagine that you know that something is happening, that the very shifting of the fabric that makes up the strange forces that are pulling at you from every angle, but you can do nothing about it. That is how we all start out you know, but luckily, most of us have no cognitive function that allows us to remember those moments. It’s been said that some folks can remember their birth, and that some have flashes of their early days within the womb. I suppose this was kind of like that, especially since I couldn’t move, but there was the feeling of being able to look around, despite not having any form.

This doesn’t feel like the most primal form of existence if you can believe that, but it does feel like something that cuts to the core of existence, since I could see, but I couldn’t understand that it was everything happening all at once. Years, days, months, none of them existed since there was no concept of them to worry over. Form was meaningless, light was another stimuli, and as matter began to gather together, smashing into each other as it formed humongous clumps and continent-sized masses that continued to slam together and create new forms, new shapes that went sailing through the unknown blackness.

That wasn’t the first story though, if you can believe that. Nope, the story had already begun, no matter that many people would claim that nothing happened before the sudden expansion of the universe. But to that I have one simple question.

Where in the world did all that energy for a new universe come from?

(to be continued)