Taking accountability instead of blaming others for your choices is important.
Has anyone ever said to you, “This sounds like a you problem, not a me problem”? It’s not something that sounds polite right off the bat. But it is accurate in a lot of ways. People telling each other about their problems is normal. We seek help and others are willing to give it when such a thing is warranted. However, some folks love listing their issues and problems to others rather than taking accountability for the things they’ve done or said. The fact is, some folks don’t like taking responsibility. It means they have to admit they’re wrong.
It’s fair to state that no one wants to admit that they’re wrong. It doesn’t stroke your ego, and it does make a person face up to their own mistakes. There are plenty of people that don’t want to look in the mirror to admit that they made mistakes. Blaming others means that a person can’t face what they’ve done or said. Yet, somehow, this has still become common practice.
The reason this happens is kind of amusing, in a sad way.
Telling people that “It sounds like a you problem not a me problem” sounds kind of mean and dismissive, doesn’t it? Some people might even call it a microaggression. But the truth is that this is how some people tell others that the problem they’re complaining about amounts to something that they’re responsible for.
The truth is that too many people who don’t take responsibility often do this for various reasons. They feel inadequate, they don’t like being ridiculed, mocked, or made to feel small. In such cases, their need to shove their personal responsibility onto others translates in several different ways. In fact, this is where victimhood can and does come from. But that’s a subject for another article.
In short, if you have an issue, forget the tissue and grow up. Take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming others. Have enough self-respect to look at your life and think about what you can do to fix whatever’s wrong, not blame others for your own mistakes.
Those who want the benefits of citizenry without the responsibilities are children that need guidance.
The Sovereign Citizen movement is, in simple terms, ridiculous. It’s very easy to state that we as Americans do not live in a perfect system. Our history is not perfect. The current state of our country isn’t perfect. But it’s our home, and it requires responsible individuals who are accountable for their actions. In other words, the home we care about requires us to take care of it in more ways than one.
Wait, you are or you aren’t a citizen?
Sovereign citizens are those folks who believe that they don’t belong to the United States. That’s all well and good, since no one owns anyone. But here’s the catch. If we live in the USA, then like it or not, we’re bound by its laws. Calling oneself a diplomat without any recognized credentials doesn’t work. So, sorry SovCits, but your movement is ridiculous and more than a little childish.
But they have paperwork and the right to challenge the laws of the land, right? That’s true, people do have the right to speak out and demonstrate their rights. There are certain inalienable rights that can’t be taken away from regular citizens. But here’s the trick; if you no longer identify as a US citizen, then you don’t benefit from the same rights that a US citizen is given. A person still has human rights, those never go away, but if you don’t want to follow the laws of the land, you’re still going to be prosecuted. If the law allows a person to be taken to task, then it’s going to happen.
It’s amusing, really
What’s really funny about this is that if someone didn’t follow the laws in another country, they’re going to get popped in the same way.
The long and short of the SovCit movement is this: it’s an argument to have everything without being held accountable. Sadly, that just doesn’t work. The best way to put is that sovereign citizens are misguided. That’s a nice way to put it.
Movies were judged by how entertaining they were at one time. That’s the truth, whether one cares to believe it or not. But the current era sees movies judged by various ideas such as diversity and inclusion. Unfortunately, these are seen as just as important as plot, dialogue, and overall story. What’s saddening about this is the fact that movies must bend their knee to masters that have no skin in the game. In other words, they’re pleasing people that sacrifice nothing to make sure they get what they want.
Representation Should be Natural, not Forced
If a movie takes place in Africa, or Europe, or China, then naturally it should depict the dominant population. A movie that takes place in America should be diverse, because the country is diverse. However, the plot and storyline should also take precedence.
A good example are the Black Panther movies. They’re about an African nation, no matter that it’s fictionalized. So people of color should be featured, correct? And yet series such as The Witcher and the ill-fated Rings of Power are dragged through the mud concerning diversity. They HAVE to feature people of color for the sake of the story, right? It’s amusing that no one makes a fuss about injecting people of other cultures into a Black Panther movie. The double standard is rather easy to see.
Movies Can No Longer Tell a Fictional Story Without Commenting on Reality
It’s understandable that directors will want to ‘say something’ with their movies. But fans tend to read too much into a movie. On the other hand, some directors feel the need to add their political and/or social commentary into a movie. Telling a story is a means of escaping the real world, not a desire to roll in the problems that are experienced in real life. The idea of ‘to each their own’ is still important. But there are times when one has to wonder if anyone is willing to simply tell a story.
Movies need to be movies. Reality is always there waiting.
Since the dawn of time the necessity of being able to attract the opposite sex has been a major issue with most individuals.
The effort needed to gain the attention of a woman is something that most men would agree is at times a great burden and yields results that can vary in many ways. No matter how nice one is, or how courteous, the outcomes of such efforts are rarely ever guaranteed.
One has to wonder then how the men that have little to no problem picking up women do it. Is it wealth, or being handsome, or a quality that is not so easy to see but is somehow sensed by women?
Why would those men that are insufferably arrogant have more luck than the men who would gladly treat women with little more than kindness?
Why would an overabundance of confidence eclipse the desire to honor and love a woman as she deserves?
Every question ever asked by a man seeking the gentle attention of a woman boils down to just a few simple tips and tricks that are easy to learn and almost guaranteed to work. With the proven methods in this book you will find yourself able to finally get into a woman’s mind and figure out what she wants.
By doing this you will eventually realize that you’ve had the tools to get what you wanted out of a woman all along, and will finally be able to do something with it.
Each chapter is broken up into differing sections that can tell you how to look, how to react, and will give you a better chance of understanding what women want and how to read them in order to get what you desire.
So let’s get started!
Appearance and Hygiene
How you look, smell, and appear to others does have some bearing on whether or not people want to be around you, women especially. If you have severe body odor or don’t bother running a brush over your teeth in the morning it’s likely that anyone invading your personal space won’t be a problem.
Like it or not, women often take a very dim view of a man that doesn’t entertain the notion of taking care of his personal hygiene.
The way you dress can also be an indicator to women of whether or not you’re worth hanging around. Even to the most laid back individual in the world, someone wearing stained boxers and a yellowing t-shirt likely won’t be the ideal person to shack up with.
Women desire a man that not only smells good and looks clean, but also knows how to dress.
If you know how to dress for success then you’re doing something right.
You don’t have to possess the body of Greek god to attract women, but it does help if you know how to take care of yourself and at least present a confident front that shows others that you are aware of how you look.
It might seem silly at times to have to pretend to be something you’re really not, but in truth you’re not pretending, you’re building an image. And in another sense, you’re throwing up that front to change the attitudes of those around you.
In short, you’re playing a sort of mind trick upon women that is almost guaranteed to work.
It might take more than one time to make this particular trick take effect, but as Joshua Pellicer would claim it is highly effective and can negate all but the most extreme physical and social failings that you might possess.
So long as you keep it clean, keep yourself groomed, and wear clothing that shows at least some taste, women will take note. You might not get a second glance as often as you’d like, but all in all you’ll at least be getting looks from women that probably wouldn’t give you the decency of an eye roll in normal circumstances.
It’s amazing what a shower and nice clothes can do to alter your appearance. It’s even more amazing what it can do to the mindset of those around you that might have already made the assumption that you’re not worth talking to. While appearance alone isn’t enough to bank on, it’s that initial look that allows people to make the assumptions that they will work with until they get to know you.
If you give them a reason to wonder and perhaps even think that you’re worth the trouble of a second glance you’ve already done something right.
So here are a few tips you might want to think about when determining what kind of appearance you want to project:
Wear a scented deodorant
It’s been scientifically proven that women go nuts for men that smell nice, and not just because of the odor. Knowing that you smell good will give you an air of confidence that women absolutely love, even if they won’t admit it. You’ll walk taller, have a little more swagger in your step, and present an air of superiority that you might otherwise be lacking.
Eat a lot of garlic.
This might seem kind of confusing since most people would avoid garlic before a date or when you need to be around others.
However, many studies have proven that women actually prefer the smell of garlic on a man. Keep in mind that good hygiene mixed with garlic would be a lot more preferable than BO and garlic mixed together.
Keep it classy, not gassy.
Grow some light facial hair.
In keeping with statements made by Joshua Pellicer and Derek Rake, both of whom discuss the secret to attracting women, the trick of facial hair is to not let it grow out too long, but to develop some serious stubble that can help to accentuate your features.
To many women stubble says dominance, experience, and a slightly aggressive manner that can be more appealing. While women don’t necessarily want to be dominated, they want a man that can be dominant and present an air of confidence that is ultimately attractive.
Show your scars
Now this doesn’t mean strip down to show an appendix scar or anything else that might be off-putting, but anything above the waist that is minor enough to be displayed should be done so with pride.
To women this shows that you’ve had a rough life, faced adversity of some sort, and come out the other side walking tall and unafraid to show the damage that’s been done.
In other words it shows that you are confident and strong enough to overcome most any challenge, and that is a decided turn on for many women.
Stay physically fit.
You don’t need to be gym rat or a bodybuilder to attract women, but in all honesty women do go nuts over a man with some toned meat on his bones. Even the strongest-willed women in the world want someone there who can share with them, serve as a protector when it’s needed, and present an air of confidence that they find so necessary.
In case you missed the point so far, a lot of what women want a sense of confidence and a dominant display of masculinity that is not overbearing but pleasingly attractive.
No matter what you do, hold your head up high, your back straight, and put a little swagger into your walk. Women will take notice.
Practice good hygiene.
No one wants to be around someone that stinks, woman or not. Take a shower, brush your teeth and hair, and pop a breath mint if you need to.
Be proud of your body.
If you have blemishes or scars don’t bother hiding them. If you show no outward sign that it bothers you the chances are good that they won’t bother anyone else.
Now that we’ve gotten past the initial impression that your looks can give, let’s delve a little deeper into the mix and talk about your personality. You might be one of those unlucky men that believe women like arrogant and confident men.
Well, you’d be half right.
You know why women go towards the men that eventually treat them like dirt, right?
A lot of men would look at that type of situation and probably think that the guy had something that they didn’t, and they’d be right. While an arrogant guy that has all the swagger and seemingly all the women he can handle would appear to have all the luck, the truth is that they’re typically trying to cash a check that their odious personality can’t cover.
They’re confident, they know how to talk to women to get their attention, and they know how to appear appealing, but after that there’s little substance left over.
The trouble with this is that by the time women realize this sad fact, they are hooked and can’t seem to get away no matter how much they try. That charm that such men exude, which is usually false bravado layered with self-confidence, is more than enough to snare some women and make them think that they can change the more negative aspects of a man.
It’s a psychological trap that some men use to snare women and keep them in their control, and unlike what Rake and Pellicer would like you to believe, it’s not always that effective.
With all due respect to their processes, a man with a charming personality and a sense of personal style is a rare gem that, when found, is among the most prized individuals in the world. Just like a woman bearing the same traits, men that care about others, genuinely listen to what people say, and actually show a bit of sensitivity are quite special in many ways.
Believe it or not women like a sensitive guy.
They want you to be dominant, capable of being forceful when it’s warranted, but when in private or when desired they melt when you become the sensitive, puppy-loving type that will escort an old grandma across the street or watch a chick flick late at night.
Women eat this kind of stuff up, and will go out of their way to keep you around should you divulge that you possess such qualities.
Here are a few other personality traits you might want to think about when it comes to attracting a woman:
Make them laugh.
It’s been said so many times in so many different ways but still bears repeating: women love a man that can make them laugh. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine as the saying goes, and sometimes a good chuckle can ease the tension you might feel on a first date. In any case, humor is a good way to slip your way into a woman’s good graces.
Not only does it reveal that you do in fact have a sense of humor all your own, it shows that you care enough to find a way to lighten up the mood and allow them to feel comfortable around you.
A good laugh can be the gateway to an even better night.
Take your dog on a walk.
It sounds so simple, right? You might be asking yourself why this doesn’t work all the time or why you haven’t thought about it until now, but just wait a second.
For one, it’s not a guaranteed, slam-dunk technique that can get a woman to like you, but it can go a long way.
If you’ve accomplished everything in the first two chapters then your chances will go up considerably if you’re seen to be actively walking a dog and taking care of your canine companions needs. Women find this incredibly sensitive and will eat it up without fail.
3) Become a volunteer.
There are so many opportunities to volunteer your time in so many different venues that it’s almost impossible not to find a place to donate your time and effort to making people’s lives better. It takes so little time and effort to really get into and more than that, it allows a woman to see that you care for another’s needs rather than just your own.
Remember earlier in the chapter when you read that women like to realize you’re sensitive and caring?
Taking the time out of your day to show that you care about someone else will be a surefire way to display that you’re not selfish and can be counted on to be a reliable and very conscientious person.
4) Become a music lover, or a musician.
Now it’s easy to understand that becoming a musician is not easy, nor is it something that is cheap to invest in. But that investment can really pay off if it helps you to become more appealing to a woman. For whatever reason, women are drawn to musicians.
Each woman will say something different when explaining why they are drawn to men that can play an instrument.
For example if you are asking a woman for her phone number you are far more likely to actually get it if you are carrying a guitar slung over one arm than a gym bag. It’s a phenomenon that has been scientifically tested and shown to be quite accurate most times.
So what’s it meant to be a musician? It might mean that you can get a date whenever you want.
Show your sensitive side to a woman and you’ll be much more likely to see her eyes widen with pleasure as well as desire.
Remain the strong, dominant character that they are attracted to in order to get their attention, but also know when to pull out the softer side that loves animals, can play at least a few good chords of music, and doesn’t mind sharing his time with others. The results should speak for themselves rather quickly.
1) You don’t need to be too sensitive.
Some women might like a guy that can bring himself to cry, but there’s no need to be a gusher. In other words, if you need a box of tissues during a particularly sad movie you might be showing a little too much sensitivity.
2) Pay attention.
Women like a guy that’s mindful. If you can show that you’re taking time out of your day to care about theirs, or anyone else’s for that matter, then you’re more likely to keep their attention on you.
3) Find humor in a variety of things.
You don’t have to be the next Jim Carrey or even Seth Rogen, but you should be able to find enough humor in life to make them laugh occasionally. If you hear that sweet laughter more that you can join in with then you’re doing something right.
4) Be genuine.
This means be honest in other words. If you have a dog, then walk them because they need it, not just to meet women. If you want to play an instrument then learn, don’t just carry a guitar around over your shoulder. To attract a woman you need to be honest with them and yourself.
Status and Wealth
You might hear a woman say that this isn’t as important, and while that’s encouraging, secretly every woman desires their chosen mate to be somewhat successful and influential outside of their relationship.
It’s that confidence and aggressive quality all over again, as this can lead you to become successful if done right.
Status and wealth shouldn’t define precisely who you are, but they can help in attracting the type of woman you want.
The trick to this really is to actually possess some status and wealth in order to get the woman you want. Hard work, a willingness to sacrifice time and a few other things along the way, and the necessary education that can help you gain that desired status will all be aspects of this attraction that can help you to appear as though you know what you’re doing.
There are also other factors that can help, and we’ll go into those now:
Wear something red.
I know, this seems like something we should have covered in chapter one, but hear me out.
The color red has long been known as a status symbol among the rich and powerful. In the modern day it’s taken on a few other aspects, but the bold hue of a nice red suit, jacket, or even a car can denote that you are in some ways edgy, wealthy, or even slightly dangerous.
All of these traits possess the inherent ability to present a challenge to women, which is often one that they tend to respond to by paying attention to you. It’s odd, it’s a bit off the wall, but somehow it works.
Try to appear your age or a little older.
Once again, this might seem it belongs in the first chapter, but think about it for a moment. Have you ever seen how many women tend to go for older guys? Even if it’s not a trend in your town it’s a thing somewhere else. Older men tend to project the air of financial stability, experience, and a different outlook on life that isn’t all about looks or even money.
They’re confident in life because they’ve done it, seen it, and women can tell just by looking.
If you look a little older, more distinguished, there’s a chance that women will begin to notice you a little more.
Heighten your status by walking the walk.
In other words, look high profile and women will think twice about just passing you by. Even if you’re not as wealthy as you look, women will tend to at least give you a second glance and perhaps even decide that you’re worth talking to.
Try to find someone that’s “in your league”.
This sounds horrible really, as it seems intent on telling you to settle and don’t reach for your dreams.
But in truth it recommends trying to find someone that is just as attractive as you are. Don’t bother going for the supermodel when you can get the girl next door, who might be prettier than you might have originally believed.
This does two things: It can save you the hassle of wondering whether or not a super-attractive girlfriend will trade up when she finds someone she likes better, and it will save you from thinking that you settled for someone just because you were afraid to go after someone as attractive as yourself.
Present yourself in a confident and professional manner.
You can go back to your jeans, sweats, and other comfy clothes once you’ve established a decent relationship. When you’re looking for a date though it’s wise to at least make an effort to show women that you can in fact look like you’re worth more than just a few bucks.
If you know who you want to go after, or the type of woman you’re looking for, don’t settle just because you haven’t found them. Dating isn’t like fishing as the players and pick up artists would be heard to say, it takes time and effort to find the right woman. The adage that there are plenty of fish in the sea is fairly accurate, but don’t pull up a lungfish when you’re hoping for a sexy tuna.
Be confident in what you have.
So you’re not a millionaire, so what? If you are happy with what you have and confident about how you earn it women will come to appreciate that. If they don’t, then you haven’t found the right one yet.
By now you’ve been made privy to a few things you should have known and probably a few things you didn’t. There are still a few tips that you can learn from in order to attract a woman and make certain that they’ll give you a little more than just the time of day.
What you need to remember most of all is to be bold, be clean, and be confident. If you can keep those thoughts in mind then you’re already way ahead of the game. These added tips are just ways to insure that women will continue to think that you’re a good and honest guy.
In order to keep women thinking that you’re an all-around good guy, try these following steps:
Be the nice guy.
You might have been indoctrinated by now to believe that nice guys finish last, but this just isn’t the case. They have to work harder sometimes thanks to the arrogance and childish ways of other men, but they don’t always need to compete with that type of garbage.
Just be the kind, gentle person you know you can be, and women will notice. Be confident, but be nice about it. Be aggressive, but be nice.
The only time you have to worry about being too nice is when you feel that size 9 pump pressing down on your back as you’re used as a doormat.
Be aware of the flirting.
Some women are not all that obvious about it. Let’s face it guys, sometimes women want men to be mind-readers and this just isn’t going to happen.
Instead of taking up any New Age book about reading thoughts however just pay attention to them. If they smile at you, smile back, if they sit closer to you, don’t move away.
Be flirty, let them make the first move, and by all means respond, don’t just ignore them and don’t be coy. They are flirting for a reason, and you should be flattered first and excited second.
It can’t be stressed enough to pay attention to the woman that takes the chance on you. Listen to what they have to say, take notice of their appearance, their speech patterns, EVERTHING. It’s all important and it’s all worth noting if you find yourself attracted to them.
If all you’re doing is staring at their body then you earned that strikeout.
Women like men that present a little bit of danger if not a lot. It’s a form of excitement and can bring a flush to their cheeks as they think of how brave you must be.
While it’s not something they willingly admit to at all times, most women are excited by men that engage in dangerous sports and activities, finding that they are drawn to the danger and the thrill.
Be a little dangerous.
This doesn’t mean go out and be stupid. But definitely try to spice up your life a bit with a few daring activities. It will get you noticed more than you think.
Listen to the woman.
Don’t be a slave and don’t be a yes-man. Listen to them and pay attention to show that you care about what they say, not just how they look.
Don’t be a doormat, but be the nice guy that is dependable and can be relied on.
Ultimately you are in charge of how you go about attracting a woman. By taking these steps you’re at least on the right track to finding a date, or maybe a long term relationship.
What you need to remember is that women like nice, confident, and trustworthy guys.
Don’t be the jerk that uses women because he loves having that kind of power. Be the man that loves women and wants to prove he’s worth their time. You’ll have a much better chance at landing the right woman.
If you’d like to take the route of trying to get inside a woman’s head and figure out what they want, here are a couple of sites you might want to visit:
This site offers a great deal of advice about how to not be a doormat and take back control of the dating game in a way that will leave women stunned when it comes to figuring out just how you seem to know what they want. It’s a more aggressive manner of attraction but one that is proven for many individuals.
The Tao of Badass by by Joshua Pellicer: http://550bc8yio4e0bm1yj5evrwzp0y.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=TAO Pellicer is the penultimate player that knows how to gain the attraction of a woman despite any lack of physical or personality attributes that were listed earlier. His method is just as sound and can help you in your sexual and personal endeavors when it comes to women, but keep in mind that it’s a more short-t
It’s nearly impossible to argue with morons who believe they’re right.
At this moment the best way to describe a sovereign citizen is to state that they are people who firmly believe that they have rights, but aren’t subject to the same laws as those who understand that the laws of the United States of America are what bind us within this country. This is something that we’re taught when we’re young, right? Most of us grow up realizing that no matter how much we like it or not, no matter if we think it’s fair, the legal system is what American citizens are bound by in a legal sense. In other words, one needs a driver’s license to drive, and one needs insurance to drive, driving and traveling are kind of the same thing, but from a legal standpoint, they’re not. This seems to be one of the biggest reasons, apart from issues that arise in court, that sovereign citizens don’t seem to get. It might be hard to understand how they fail to understand this, but if anyone has ever heard of brainwashing, and there’s no doubt that most people have, this is a prime example.
The funny thing is that sovereign citizens appear to be so dead set against US law that they’ll easily listen to those who think as they do, and in the process will end up getting arrested when they disobey the law. All one has to do is go on YouTube, where many creators are currently having a great time showing the ignorance and arrogance of these individuals, to see how truly moronic some of them try to sound. Quite typically these citizens will remain adamant that traffic violations are not a crime, that they are entitled to act as though they are not subject to the same laws, but that somehow, some way, they can benefit from the same rights that the rest of the nation enjoys freely.
The flawed ideas and belief systems that sovereign citizens cling to so desperately tend to be based upon legal precedents that are cherry-picked from various texts, from a seriously flawed understanding of various laws, policies, codes, and whatever legal bric a brac that they can find. Listening to many of them speak often reminds people of what it’s like to talk to a young child that has a limited understanding of the world around them. It’s not a desire to call these people imbeciles, but it’s tough to think of even the smartest among them as fully-functioning adults.
At the end of the day, one can only hope that this is another trend that people are being drawn to, but it does appear that this has been going on for a while, so it might take a monumental effort to bring people back to the idea that the laws of this country do apply to pretty much everyone. Sure, there are laws that aren’t quite as effective and some people don’t fall under certain laws, but the thing about living in the USA is that we do have a wide array of freedoms that people take for granted. Sovereign citizens tend to want the benefit of said rights but aren’t willing to recognize why they need to accept the consequences when they do something wrong.
Kate blinked, taking in her surroundings once again. The corridor around her was still, the clamoring of prisoners, the roar of cannon fire, and the smell of smoke, were gone.
“Do you think we could file a lawsuit if it was found out she slipped in this old dump?”
“Hey, show some respect. This ‘dump’ was an important line of defense back in the day.”
Kate didn’t react to the voice of her younger brother or their father as she blinked several times, still looking around in dazed confusion as the realism of the…the…whatever she’d just seen continued to echo within her thoughts.
Don’t worry about what people think, you can always get better at writing if you want.
I’ll make this short and fairly simple: you’re not a perfect writer, no matter what critics might say, or your parents, or anyone else. There is no such thing as a writer who’s 100% perfect, because there will always be those who have a differing opinion of what’s good and what’s not. Some of the greatest writers have flaws that a lot of readers simply don’t acknowledge, even though they know they’re present. Do you think that you’re perfect? I hope not, because there’s always room for improvement. It’s not criticism, it’s a truth that every writer needs to get used to.
You will need to perform rewrites from time to time.
It’s time to accept it, not run from it and not get angry about it. If you want to grow as a writer, if you want people to read what you have to write, then you’ll need to write it again, and again, and again, and then take into consideration what your editor has to say. A polished manuscript is what sells, or at least that’s what they say.
Just keep in mind, you can be as good of a writer as you want to be, but you’ll have to put in the work.
Sure love comes with a price tag, but it should come after you meet, right?
Beware gorgeous women who start asking for money, especially if you’re suspicious enough to do a little digging and find out that those exotic-looking women who are calling you ‘dear’ and ‘babe’ and several other affectionate terms are willing to say “I love you” within a week’s time, or less. My advice to any and all of you guys out there that see this on your IG, if you have it, or on your social media, is to walk away and take pride in knowing that you avoided a scam that could end up costing you thousands or more.
Unfortunately, being a man with a weakness for beautiful women, I have been suckered in a couple of times and I’ll admit, I fell for a lot of crap even with being suspicious of the motives and words being used. Hey, it feels good to have someone talk to you and compliment you and make you feel good about yourself, right? The problem there is that you should already feel good enough about yourself to be secure in your own head and not be susceptible to the online charms of women that make a living seducing and promising those that they know they can get just by pursing their lips the right way or spreading their legs for a photo shoot.
If they say “I love you”, then go the other way.
Far be it from me to judge anyone’s life when it comes to what they’ve done, what they do, and how they earn their living. But after speaking to so many ‘women’ (yes, there’s good chance you’re talking to a scammer that’s well-versed in how to type sexy words onto the screen) it’s fair to say that trusting everyone simply because they’re nice to you denotes a lack of self-awareness on your part. You’re not that dumb; just remember that and ask the questions you need to in order to flush out the scammers and possibly, just possibly, find the real person beneath the garbage.
Don’t send money, and I mean EVER.
You’re bound to get some sort of sob story such as the woman can’t leave their current residence since they’re broke, they’re being looked after by someone, they have no money, blah, blah, blah. Seriously, if they have no money then how are they on the internet? Even with the ability to mooch off of others, this service doesn’t come free. And do yourself a favor and take a look at the pictures they’re sending you. Do they look broke? Do they look like they’re starving or put out? How the hell are they surviving if they’re as bad off as they say? Oh sure, there are plenty of extenuating circumstances that could come into play and some women might be telling the truth, but this isn’t a time to #believeallwomen.
My point, guys, is this. I know what it’s like to be lonely and I know that talking to someone online can feel damned good. But if they tell you they love you right away, or start asking for money, move on. There’s nothing there but a steaming pile that you don’t need to deal with.
The more detail you use, the more believable your characters become.
Every element of a book is important since all elements that are being used need to come together in a way that makes the audience believe that the story is worth more than just reading, it’s worth believing in. The setting, the tone, the look and feel of the different areas that come together to make the story what it is, all of it makes a difference since all of it has to do with pushing the story forward and creating something that people will want to know more about.
But the characters are what will really drive your story, since the setting and the tone won’t deliver the tale on their own.
So, how do you create a character?
It’s exceedingly simple, but the details that will go into it can make things so much harder than they need to be. Some people try to flesh their characters out too quickly, and in doing so they rush things and their character isn’t given the proper time and space to develop. It sounds a bit silly to some folks, especially since these are fictional characters we’re talking about. But if your character doesn’t sound real enough for the story they belong to, then you won’t find yourself with a clear and detailed individual that people can see, hear, and understand. That last part might not need to come for a while, since twists and turns in your story might change your mind as to the nature of your character. But having a grounding point from which to work is important since as the author, you should know everything there is to know about your character.
The basics of creating a character need to be addressed. Without the basics you have a ghost with a few vague descriptions to go on.
Most authors already know this, but there a few very basic pieces of information that need to go into your characters to get the ball rolling, such as:
Appearance: Are they short, tall, medium height? What’s their hair color, their skin color? Do they have a noticeable characteristic that sets them apart? Do they wear one type of clothing or many different types?
Personality: Are they serious, snarky, or timid? Do they get along with others, or are they social outcasts? There are a lot of different personality types out there, but assigning or or two to your character is a wise move.
Lifestyle/Culture: Are they cisgender, or are they part of the LGBTQ+ community? Are they immigrants? Are they native to their homeland? These are tidbits that go deeper into a character’s past and identity, and might even be called controversial, but it’s worth taking the time to develop.
Oh, don’t worry, there’s much more to come, but for now, think about these things and how you want to apply them.
One way or another, you will miss something when you’re writing.
No one likes having to think about it since the idea is that authors can write and wow their audience with their ability to tell a story. But the truth that a lot of people don’t like to own up to, but will learn if they’re smart, is that they will need to revise or rewrite their story from time to time. Revisions aren’t fun, seriously, they’re not. Rewrites are even worse since essentially you’ll find yourself needing to write entire pages, entire chapters all over again to work on the clarity, the spelling, the grammar, anything that your editor tells you needs to be done. If you don’t, well, then there’s a good chance that a publisher won’t want to work with you, a literary agent won’t give you a second look, and whatever writing career you want will go up in smoke before it ever has a chance to develop.
But that’s why we’re here. That’s why writing sites like this exist, to help you out and give you the hard lessons that you need, or the attention that you might want and need to improve your writing. Personally, I don’t like revisions and rewrites, I’ve had to do this way too often in my career, but I understand the need for it, I get the idea that it’s important to improve your skill set and write in a manner that people can understand and come to enjoy.
I’ll get into rewrites and revision again, believe that. But for now, my parting word is this: it’s going to be needed. You won’t be a perfect writer from the very start, accept that. But sites like this exist to help you, to give you tips and advice, and the lot of us will make sure that you get what you need to improve your writing in ways you might not have thought possible.