A prominent family was kept waiting for the police during a break-in just a few nights ago and apprehended the would-be burglars by accident as Murray Kayburne tripped over a floor lamp while trying to run away from one of the thieves.
“I didn’t know what to do since the police didn’t want to do their jobs and we don’t own a gun. I had a really heavy wooden stick that I use for walking and might have tried to hit them over the head. But when the first person approached me I decided it was better to run and get back to my family upstairs. Then I tripped over a lamp and the next thing I knew the guy behind me was on the ground, knocked out I guess, and the others were running away. That’s when the cops showed up, finally.”
The reason behind a squad car showing up late to the call has not been disclosed, though it has been revealed that the Kayburne’s have filed three false police reports on several of their neighbors in a five-year time period and have been quite vocal towards local authorities and their belief that the local police precinct needs to be defunded. It was revealed that the thieves belonged to a local chapter of Black Lives Matter and that they have been preying upon various homes over the course of the past several months. At this time the Kayburne’s have reported that nothing was stolen and that they are certain that this was an attempt by either Patriot Prayer or the Proud Boys to frame the ‘proud name’ of BLM.
Both organizations have explicitly stated that they do not condone this type of behavior and that the individuals that are currently being held in Multnomah County are not a part of any active chapter. When contacted to hear their side of the story however, Black Lives Matter respondents declined to speak with anyone.
Yeah, they ain’t gonna talk because they know their people done f-ed up.
You expect the cops to come help your stupid butt when you’ve been doggin’ them for so long? You’re a special kind of stupid ain’t ya?