The tensions have been running pretty high lately in the city of Portland as Federal troops and protesters/rioters have been clashing on a regular basis. Mayor Ted Wheeler has been vocal in denouncing the Federal troops, though many people are already becoming disillusioned as their everyday lives are being affected by the continued tensions. Businesses, homes, and even gathering places are being affected by the continued struggle as rioters continue to rail against the Feds, while the police attempt to keep the peace despite the fact that their best efforts are currently failing as the rioters aren’t showing any sign of stopping.
For one rioter though, the fight is over for the time being given the nature of the injury that he sustained one day ago that sent him to OHSU with a very unusual injury that doctors admit they haven’t seen that often. The rioter in question has been identified as William D. Lite, a liberal arts student at PSU that has been taking part in several protests and riots since Trump’s inauguration. The injury in question has to do with a gas cannister and its miraculous placement in William’s rectum, as the explanation that William has given doesn’t quite fit with what actual footage shows.
“I decided to taunt the Feds, that’s my right to protest,” William said in a brief interview, “And the cop that shot me took deliberate aim and plugged me as my pants were down to moon them. I plan to sue for everything that guy has, and his badge.”
While footage does show the officer firing the gas grenade and William shooting the moon at the officer in question, the miraculous chain of events does not support his claim as the gas grenade was seen to be headed off in another direction before it was batted down with a lucky shot and, still having enough momentum, somehow found its way into the waiting body cavity. Thankfully William was able to have the canister removed without any further damage to his body, but the doctors have advised that he refrain from any further protests for the time being.
I would say he’s a dumbass, but he’s probably a sore ass at this point.
If he does this again then I’d question whether the first time was an ‘accident’ or a dream come true..