Second stimulus check update: Lawmakers turn to $600 to $700 payments

Longview, WA

            Linda Derwitz was looking for support in her cause to denounce the COVID-19 relief checks that were issued nearly a month ago, but sadly she found very little when she decided to stage her protest in front of Longview’s City Hall building. The 34-year old woman brought with her a megaphone and satchel filled with items that she claimed would hold her over all day as she intended to stick around until someone finally got the point that the people should demand more from the government, and that a payoff for losing their jobs and disrupting their lives was a slap in the face. Linda went so far as to pull out a government-issued check and tear it up in front of everyone, stating that she wouldn’t be ‘bought off’ by Uncle Sam. Her speech was caught on recording and was taken down for posterity.

            “We the people are sick and tired of the swamp and our toad in chief! He promised to drain the swamp and protect the people, and all he’s doing is trying to bribe us into thinking that he’s doing a great job! Our people are sick, we’re physically ill, and this toad goes golfing! While he’s spending our tax dollars and smacking his balls across a golf course, we’re waiting in lines for food, for sundry items, and for the right to live! I tear up my relief check not just in opposition to Drumpf, but to the government he represents and their willingness to see the rest of us starve!”

            Unfortunately for Linda the scattered pieces of her check were recovered by the few people that had gathered to listen to her, and upon finding that it was a copy, one bystander called her out immediately by asking what she’d done with the money. When Linda, flabbergasted and obviously caught, couldn’t respond, people stopped listening and went about their way. Despite her shame, Linda didn’t leave until she was escorted off the premises by two very polite police officers.

@BooBoo tweeted:

            Oh hell no. If you’re gonna run that kind of garbage the dump is the place you need to go.

@HeebieJeebie:

            Someone ate crayons when they were little and it shows.

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