Portland’s overall motto is ‘Keep Portland weird,” and the residents have certainly proven that they know how to do this. Videos including everything from a person riding a unicycle while playing the Empire theme from The Empire Strikes Back on a set of bagpipes to clowns parading through the street months before Halloween have been making their rounds on YouTube for a few years now. But the most current footage that has recently been pulled from YouTube involves the severe beating of a man in a Scooby Doo outfit as he was pummeled at a BLM protest only days ago. The man in question, Bernard Diggen, is an American citizen whose parents legally immigrated to the US around ten years ago. Bernard, who is an honors student at Portland State University, had this to say:
“My only thought was to lighten the mood a little since everyone’s been so up in arms lately. I’ve used the suit for kids’ parties in the past and even used it to attend Wizard Con for a few years, but this was the first time I’ve been beaten up over it. I didn’t even come up to anyone that wasn’t walking towards me first since that’s how it usually works at conventions. But for whatever reason a group of black folks my age or close to it decided to start hitting and kicking me. Once I was on the ground they didn’t stop. They didn’t even stop when the headpiece came off and they saw I wasn’t white. They called me a traitor and disgrace to my people and all sorts of stuff. Y’know, acting like they think all white people do apparently.”
Thankfully there were officers nearby that were able to come to Bernard’s aid and he escaped with only bruises and a few abrasions thanks to the durability of his suit. At this time no arrests have been made, but Bernard has decided to avoid any protests in the near future.
Rut roh! Maybe a Scooby snack would’ve helped….oh wait, I’m thinking of Popeye and spinach….carry on….
Now BLM has a problem with Scooby? Why, because he helps SOLVE problems instead of creating them?