Heart Attack Victim Nearly Dies as Roadways Are Blocked by Protestors (parody)

Portland, OR

            Protesters would argue until they’re blue in the face about rights, about civic duties, and of how their First Amendment rights allow them the freedom of self-expression. But there is a time and place for such sentiments and protests as Arthur Gelat would state. In fact it’s fair to say that Arthur was almost unable to say such a thing when he was being rushed to Providence Hospital only a short time ago after suffering a massive heart attack. Thankfully Arthur is currently recuperating at home, but he recalls his harrowing journey as it was discovered that no one but three different roadways were being blocked by protesters that refused to move even when the ambulance blared its horn and signal, with a few people actually kicking or punching the vehicle as it went past.

            “I don’t remember much more than pain,” Arthur recalled in an interview, “I do remember hearing thumps on the side of the ambulance though, and it kind of rocked back and forth a bit a couple of times. But apart from that all I really recall is that the paramedics were swearing up a blue streak at the people outside.”

            According to his doctor, Arthur might not have survived had it taken any longer for the ambulance to reach the hospital. As it happened though his life was saved as he was wheeled into the hospital the moment he arrived and given immediate care. As though to make the story more compelling, Arthur has refused to criticize the protesters, but he has made it clear that while their right to protest is important, it is also necessary to leave the roadways clear so that anyone and everyone can get to where they’re going. Not surprisingly, many people have chosen to criticize Arthur for this statement, though there are those that have justified his words.

@PityStones tweeted:

            Y’all are so worried about protesting that you’re perfectly okay with infringing upon the rights of others so that you can get your non-oppressed moment in the spotlight. What if Arthur had been black? Oh wait, that’s not something you’re willing to think about….

@HuffItUp tweeted:

            Go on and protest, it’s your right, but you have NO right to block roadways. ‘Nuff said.