Local Man Arrested for Mailing Death Threats to Greta Thunberg (parody)

Bellingham, WA

            Greta Thunberg is back in the news again as CNN has reportedly decided to make her a panelist at their next town hall event. This news has effectively divided those who are firmly on Greta’s side and those that believe that a 17-year old activist has no place speaking on something she is not qualified to talk about. Many have argued the point that she has been speaking out as to how the pandemic has affected so many, but there are still plenty of detractors seeking to denounce the teen in an effort to prove that she has no expertise that can be brought to such an event. In fact, many have come to believe that this is little more than another publicity stunt, much as her impassioned activism has been seen by so many.

            “It’s a way to get the attention of people who won’t listen to con artists that are trying to be doomsayers without calling themselves that,” says one concerned citizen, “Those that are backing her are using Greta to see if they can discredit the other side of the argument when they start ‘picking on’ a young girl for her impassioned plea to turn the world around. So far it hasn’t really worked since to a lot of people she’s been seen as either a savior or an irritant.”

            Regardless of how Greta is seen by the masses, it has been established that threats of harm are still uncalled for, as Bellingham resident Joseph Marburo discovered when an explicit death threat that was mailed to Greta’s home address was traced back to his home. Police were quick to apprehend Joseph, who wrote that if Greta did show up to the town hall that she would receive ‘two to the back’, indicating that he meant to terminate the teenager. At this moment Joseph is currently waiting sentencing, and has been denied bail.

@ChangeMinds tweeted:

            Man that’s stupid. Death threats aren’t called for, but if you’re mailing something to someone do it from a post office or a blue box, don’t use your house.

@Nincomp tweeted:

            I don’t think she needs to be mouthing the words she’s fed either, but death threats are for chumps.