Wildlife Takes Over Small Coastal Town During Quarantine (parody)

Oysterville, WA

            Residents of Oysterville were shocked by what they woke up to see early one morning just a week ago during the quarantine. While many in the small coastal town have been doing their part to stay home and help stop the spread of the coronavirus, the effects have been noted, especially during the last week or so. When residents woke to find wild animals grazing and meandering about the town they had no idea what to think, but several of them placed calls to the Fish and Game Department without delay.

            “We don’t normally see this behavior,” said Rick Maybersly, a Fish and Wildlife agent, “Wild animals usually won’t approach humans unless they smell food or are aggravated for some reason. Even then it’s more likely for them to run, not just loiter around.”

            From as far north as Ledbetter Park to the main strip of Oysterville were seen wild animals including several deer, a black bear, and even a cougar at one point strolling about near the woods in open view. Residents were noticeably worried  and were frantically calling the police and Fish & Game departments to try and make sense of the matter, but thankfully only a few days after the initial incident the animals made their way back into the wilderness and haven’t been seen from again.

            “We’re used to seeing animals around here,” said Joy Morrow, a longtime resident, “But usually it’s from a distance. There aren’t a lot of black bears left on the peninsula and seeing a cougar isn’t always a common thing. There’s deer aplenty, but we saw a lot of different animals lounging about down near the water and not bothering each other a single bit. It was eerie to be certain.”

            Some insist that since the quarantine came down and people have been spending more time at home animals on the coast have come to realize it’s safer to move about. Others however have yet to come up with a solid theory as to what happened.

@WashthePlanet tweeted:

            Just wait when humans are gone, the animals will take it all back man, Mother Earth will set the scales again and they’ll balance again, just watch.

@JamiraWhat tweeted:

            It’s like they’re reminding us that this is their world, we’re just living in it.