What Do I Do If My Neighbor Is A Tiger King Wannabe?

San Diego, CA

            Quite a few people have been buzzing about Netflix’s documentary series, “Tiger King” recently and several have expressed feelings of frustration over the story of Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin. Unfortunately, some of them have taken it to heart in a way that is truly disturbing as one San Diego resident by the name of LeShean Digmacraix, legal name Shaun Digcrak, is currently in the ICU thanks to his need to emulate Joe Exotic. A statement by LeShean preceded his ill-fated actions at the San Diego Zoo just a few days ago, and it reads:

            “All of those folks over at the G.W. Zoo are just doing it wrong. Joe didn’t train any of them, he didn’t really take care of any of them, and it shows when you see how the cats were treated. I’ve been studying on big cats since I was 11, I know them better than anyone and know how to reach into a cat’s soul to show them that I’m a friend, that I’m an ally, I can be trusted, and I can be one of them if I so choose. That’s my intent with what some are calling a ‘stunt’, to show that human beings can attune themselves to the spiritual wavelength of animals if they let go of their hubris and just be one with these beautiful creatures. My intent isn’t to harm the animals or agitate them in any way, but to let them know that I am there for them, that I feel the pain of their incarceration and that there is one human who knows that they are still the proud and powerful beasts that their ancestors were.”

            Around 4 am on March 29th, security cameras caught sight of LeShean making his way carefully into the tiger enclosure at the San Diego Zoo, where he then attempted to commune with the magnificent creatures. Unfortunately for LeShean the ‘communion’ didn’t work out as the two tigers sharing the enclosure, named Rock and Biter, didn’t take kindly to an intruder in their habitat and would have mauled LeShean to death had security not been mobilized the moment they noticed him climbing into the habitat. At this moment LeShean is still in critical condition as the two tigers have been checked on and given the OK as it was not their fault for attacking.

@HaileyMarie tweeted:

            Why do morons think that big cats give a damn about them? Even on the Tiger King those buggers would have been dining on the zookeepers if the notion had struck them.

@FactOLife tweeted:

            I feel like someone was trying to start up a new Jackass-type show and aimed a little too high.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.