Man Arrested for Burglary, Blames “Purge” Siren (parody)

Crowley, LA

            Police responded last night to a frantic call of someone breaking into a residence in Crowley, Louisiana, four hours after several cruisers had gone trolling through the town blaring the latest curfew alarm, a siren that had many horror fans up in arms as they recognized it from the movie “The Purge”. Local resident Eugene Difflebirm unfortunately took the sound of the siren to heart and believed that the Purge was in fact real, and thus decided that the law no longer mattered for the next twelve hours as he decided to break curfew before going on a burglary spree that last for nearly three hours as he spent the first hour after the sirens making sure that people had in fact gone home.

            “He hit several stores first,” said Officer John Donham of the Crowley PD, “Obviously he knew how to get in and out, so it wasn’t hard to think that he might have done something like this before. The suspect entered several of the small mom and pop shops that are still operating since they deal in essential items such as food, liquor, and pharmaceuticals. All told he made off with roughly three thousand dollars in merchandise that he managed to stash before he started targeting homes. He was on his third home by the time we got the call.”

            Apparently Eugene came upon two empty homes to begin with as the residents were out of town or were perhaps at work. The third home however found the Doynkin’s, a family of four, still at home and settled down in their rooms with their various electronics for the evening. Eugene’s entry was heard by the two homeowners and parents, Merle and Joy, and was quickly called in from their room as Merle went to check on the kids. Thankfully the police showed up not too long after the call and Eugene was apprehended. He’s currently awaiting arraignment and still sticking with the defense that the Purge had started and that crime was legal for the next 12 hours.

@JaniceChrissy tweeted:

            People have got to stop asking how dumb other people can be, some folks are taking that as a challenge obviously….

@LarryJack tweeted:

            Well, on the upside he’s a thief not a murderer, so it could have been worse.