Baton Rouge, LA
Cindy Boutiner, a mortician in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, received a startling surprise just a few days ago when she went to accept a body and found the deceased screaming for her life inside her body bag. Both Cindy and the coroner were rightly distraught when they discovered that their supposed body, 86-year old Linda Riser, was still very much alive and had somehow been mistakenly pronounced dead in her home earlier. There has been no official explanation yet as to how such a mishap could have occurred, but thankfully Linda was removed from the bag and rushed to a nearby hospital where she was thoroughly checked and given a clean bill of health, apart from her hearing, which had apparently deteriorated long ago.
“You get used to bodies that appear to move on their own through little tics and reflexive spurts of action when they’re jostled,” Cindy said in an interview, “There are natural bodily functions that still occur a little while after death, but the last thing anyone expects is for the person in the back to start screaming and thrashing around. The coroner and I were thinking Walking Dead thoughts initially but that only lasted for two seconds before we had her out and were trying to calm her down as we unzipped the bag. Apparently her husband had thought that she’d passed away in her sleep since her pulse was so weak that he couldn’t find it. Even the coroner couldn’t determine that she was alive, so it does make me wonder a bit.”
Linda was returned home to a grateful husband and a very relieved family not too long afterwards, and has been heard to state that she’ll finally consider purchasing a pair of hearing aids so that she can hear when she’s being called.
Who else thinks that hubby was sleeping on the couch after that?
Good thing there wasn’t a shovel nearby, or a crossbow.
Leave a Reply