There are times when innovation can go a little too far and Tyson Chikkans, a local man from Boring, Oregon, proved that for four consecutive days in a row just last week. The retired Navy officer took the liberty of setting up a speaker system that not only blared whatever music he desired from carefully hidden speakers outside of his own home, but from concealed speakers that were hooked up around several homes on his block. The setup is one that many tech-savvy individuals have come to regard as quite brilliant, but Tyson’s neighbors have been less than pleased about the project.
“One morning we woke up to Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’ at around 6 am,” stated retired Army lieutenant Jim Baner, “Then another morning it was Led Zeppelin, then Rage Against the Machine, and then finally, on the last morning before someone finally called the cops after having enough, it was The Troggs singing ‘Wild Thing’. I know my music and I like all of them, but not at 6 in the damned morning.”
According to the police, residents within the area had gone without reporting for the first three days thinking that Tyson had gotten his wires crossed somehow and was attempting to fix the matter. The former Naval officer was seen on multiple occasions tinkering around outside with his own system, though the police took a while to find the speakers he’d hidden so cunningly on the properties of his neighbors. When they were discovered it was found that he’d been using Bluetooth wireless speakers with an extended range of 300+ feet, and when laid out in a specific pattern he managed to boost the signal with a device he’d purchased at a local tech store so as to amplify the signal. At this time Tyson isn’t being charged with anything other than disturbing the peace, as his fellow residents have refused to press charges, providing that he doesn’t do something like this again.
It took three whole days for these people to complain? Come on, they were outside jamming weren’t they?
Props to the lieutenant for knowing every band and every song I’m assuming.