Fan Attempts to Bail Tiger King Out of Jail (parody)

Fort Worth, TX

            Ever since the Tiger King madness began thanks to Netflix there have been plenty of fans that have stood by the famed Joe Exotic and have demanded that he be released from his current residence at FMC Forth Worth. While many attempts such as GoFundMe accounts have been rebuffed there have been those that have decided to picket the prison and even those that have attempted to show the former animal trainer/breeder some love by sending him various letters and items that are carefully screened by the prison staff. Unfortunately for one fan by the name of Mary-Anne Ginger her package of homemade ‘tiger-striped’ cookies were found to contain a circular saw blade that had been carefully inserted beneath the double layer of baked goods.

            “I had to laugh when we found it,” said Duane Mente, one of the prison guards, “I didn’t know what the woman was thinking when she packed it in there, or how Joe could have possibly used it. But since it’s a saw blade it’s classified as a deadly weapon so we had to take it and she’s looking at a prison sentence if she’s found guilty.”

            When asked by police if she sent the cookies Mary-Anne admitted that she did, but when asked about the saw blade her answers became much more evasive. At the current moment Ginger has been booked and is being held in a local county jail, though she opted to give a statement.

            “Joe Exotic deserves to be free, and if that guy from Shawshank can tunnel out of a prison using a rinky-dink little rock hammer I figured that Joe shouldn’t have much of a problem using his sexy muscles to work a little saw magic on the bars to his cell. If I’d been smarter I would have put the blade in a Bundt cake or something I guess.”

            There will be more on this story as it develops.

@TweetyFlop tweeted:

            Girl….no….just NO. The guy’s in jail for a reason, and they check pretty much everything that comes in. A Bundt cake setting off metal detectors would be a pretty big giveway.

@DintchaDont tweeted:

            How many new ‘husbands’ do you figure he’s made in there?