Couple Divorces Following Fight About the Coronavirus (parody)

Camas, WA

            In one of the more bizarre and unfortunately tragic stories that has come from the onset of the coronavirus, local Camas couple Dana and Lorenzo Benz went public with their decision to divorce one another this past weekend. The couple, who met in 2010 and married in 2011, have been a loving and devoted pair for years now as their friends and neighbors have said, but are apparently parting ways due to a very strange but, to them, serious reason.

            “I’ve heard of divorces where the couple couldn’t stop fighting, fell out of love, or had marital issues that couldn’t be resolved, but this is the first time I’ve heard of anyone divorcing anyone because of a disease that neither one of them even had.” This came from an interview with Hal tate, a good friend to Lorenzo for many years. Apparently the divorce is stemming from an argument between Dana and Lorenzo that began when they were asked how they would deal with the coronavirus if either one of them tested positive.

            “Dana didn’t hesitate,” Hal stated, “She told Lorenzo that she’d set him up in the garage and that’s that. We all thought she was joking and so did he. She laughed about it even, but she assured us she wasn’t joking. They don’t have kids or anything and they both tested negative for it when they found a test they could use, but for Lorenzo I think that kind of told him just where he rated with her.”

            Divorce proceedings weren’t too far ahead in the future at that point since as friends recall, the couple continued to argue over the point. At times their arguments were so loud and obnoxious that the police were called, as neighbors thought the two were close to blows at least once. So far nothing untoward has happened, but checking in with their friends it does sound as though Dana will be moving in with her family, as Lorenzo has taken advantage of his name being on the lease and the fact that his paycheck is more than enough to keep him comfortable.

@DayamGeena tweeted:

            So ‘in sickness and in health’ must be an optional thing these days…..

@HortonWhat tweeted:

            Think it would be wrong to side with Lorenzo on this one?