Arrival, Housing, and Transportation

Vancouver, WA

            Several student riots have taken place at Clark College in Vancouver, WA these past few months and many are wondering why and what could have possibly set students off so easily. As it turns out, billionaire Morton Saalit, a wealthy industrialist who attended Clark several decades ago, was interested in conducting a social experiment and, as a result, enlisted nearly an entire campus worth of students and faculty. He also managed to gain the support and backing of the Clark County police in this highly controversial experiment as his desire was to maintain some sense of morality to the experiment, despite the fact that hundreds of students would be in the dark concerning what was to happen.

            “Following Trumps appointment to the White House I had an idea,” Saalit said in an interview, “I wanted to know if the protests on so many campuses were real or not, or if they could be staged and therefore discredited as being little more than a grab for attention. In the last few months we’ve had protests over a few faculty members that have been ‘hired’ or ‘fired’, with emphasis on race, gender, and even a couple of past indiscretions that were found to be real, but weren’t a problem as they’d been settled. We’ve also manufactured problems that have taken place on other campuses and did manage to get ahold of Mr. Ben Shapiro to come speak at one point, and students just exploded.”

            The Clark College campus was littered with trash at one point and several windows and doors have been broken during the time. At the same time however Saalit has paid for everything, and has assured those that were aware of the experiment that they would be taken care of and that the damage would be repaired. Staying good to his word, Saalit has also scheduled a gathering at which he will make clear just what has been done and why.

            “I think the gathering is a risk,” said Professor Malcolm Baylock, “But I also think it’s a good way to make sure that those who think they’re following a cause are given a slap to the senses as to how easy it is to follow like sheep instead of thinking for yourself. Colleges get a bad reputation for those that create an ideal that suckers in hundreds if not thousands of students, but in truth we’re trying to get people to use their own judgment, not just play follow the leader like a bunch of noobs.”

@HabeasCoreUs tweeted:

            How many college kids need to jump off a bridge to prove that it’s a bad idea? Apparently quite a few since they need to be sure that it’s the fall and not the ideal that’s the problem….

@StonedTemples tweeted:

            Man I want to sign up for that kind of experiment and start pointing people out “You’re going to jail, you’re expelled, oh you’re definitely screwed, AND you’re expelled…” Lol

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