Sologamy is a strange word that many might not understand, but it is basically the marriage to oneself, nothing more and nothing less. While some people might think that this type of bond is formed when one becomes aware of themselves many single sologamists might beg to differ, including Mike Ikelike. As of August of 2019 Mike wed himself in a private ceremony in one of Reno’s wedding chapels, presided over by only three people, all of whom signed as witnesses. To date however, Mike has decided that his relationship with himself has soured and has taken the matter to the courts following an awkward breakup with himself that went very public and has many believing that the man needs a psychiatrist instead of a pair of divorce lawyers.
“It’s definitely one of the strangest cases I’ve ever handled,” said attorney John J. Jinglhimer, “Mike is an admitted sologamist, which is something I had to look up to discover what it was, and he apparently ‘cheated’ on himself by going out on a date and paying for everything, which was then followed by events that apparently became very intimate with this other partner, who was female, as I’ve been allowed to reveal.”
The woman in question refused to be interviewed upon finding out that Mike is, or was, a sologamist, and has been unavailable for comment. Mike however has been very vocal about his choice.
“I’m so ashamed of myself,” he said, almost tearfully, “Not even a year into being committed to being single and I decided that I needed more than I could provide myself. I’ve cried myself to sleep a few nights thinking what I could have done differently and how I could have made this work, but everything I think of comes back to the idea that I’m just not enough.”
As if to make things worse, Mike caused quite the scene in the courtroom during his divorce hearing as he began to argue back and forth with himself, prompting the judge to state that he needed psychiatric help rather than a divorce from himself. Following that comment however Mike attempted to charge the bench only to be held in contempt and taken into custody shortly after, all while telling the judge various things he could do with his gavel.
When you can cheat on yourself with a mirror then you’ve got problems…on the other hand meals are probably cheaper….
My head hurts just thinking about this…..