Kid N Play

Phoenix, AZ

            In recent years it’s been discovered that there has been disease for nearly every year that has passed. While the media continues to hype each and every one in an effort to ‘inform’ the general public, many people continue to overreact by buying mass quantities of soap, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper to combat a virus with a very low mortality rate despite being highly infectious. One high school in Phoenix, Arizona has taken to banning such things as handshakes, high-fives, and any hand to hand contact among the students. While policing this contact has been understandably difficult, one replacement for handshakes, the foot tap, has been implemented and has thus far been adopted by many of the students.

            “It’s almost like doing a dance,” said one student as he demonstrated his own technique. Some students have even go so far as to elaborate on the movement with their own sense of style as the practice has taken hold.

            “My dad said that my friend and I looked like Kid N’ Play when we did that,” said another student, “I don’t even know who that is.”

            So far there have been only a few minor injuries related to the foot-tapping practice, but students have become used to it in a short time as they greet one another with a host of different foot taps that range from the more energetic to the mild and fairly moderate taps that are usually half-hearted at best. Upon trying to tap feet with one student one of our reporters nearly lost his balance, but regained it just in time to offer a respectful tap with the school principal.

            “We hope the virus comes and goes soon enough,” said Principal Ned Leary, “This tapping thing is okay but it feels a little silly doing it as an adult.”

@jawsandmaws34 tweeted:

            They don’t know who Kid N’Play is???? For shame!!

@hoogeyboog90 tweeted:

            I wonder if there’s such a thing as a high and low version of this, that might be kind of difficult though….

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