Charlie Zelenoff by Karisean on DeviantArt

It wasn’t really Charleton’s fault that he thought he was the greatest MMA fighter of all time. Some said his parents had dropped him on his head a few too many times when he was little. Others said he’d eaten paint chips when he was a toddler, and then some even said he was into huffing glue by the time he was seven. The only problem is, Charleton, whom everyone just called Charlie, had actually gone through all that and been diagnosed as a normal, healthy kid by the time he hit his teens. It wasn’t even until he came into his late teens that he started thinking of himself as a fighter.

Was he a good fighter? He could win against a few kids his own age, but beating up a fat kid that fell over his own two feet and didn’t have the energy to get back up without his inhaler, which Charlie took, might count as a controversial win to a lot of people. Not Charlie, he tacked that onto his current count and kept rolling along as he continued to amass one win after another, at least in his estimation. You see, Charlie wasn’t the worst fighter to ever live, not quite at least. He was in good shape, took fairly good care of himself, and could actually last a round or two if he really wanted to. No, the problem with Charlie was that he wasn’t great with confrontation. In fact he was terrible with it since the moment another fighter managed to tag him, Charlie would find a way to give up or just run before declaring himself the victor for not getting put down. There’s some type of victory there, right?

Well, whether you think so or not, Charlie hit his 20th year of life with an ‘underground’ record of 49-1, but the one loss was, as he described it, a ‘moral win’ since he didn’t want to demoralize the kid in front of his peers and his girlfriend. Those that were there unfortunately tell a different story and have backed it up with a video on YouTube of Charlie getting pummeled by 16-year old when he’d just turned 20. For one reason or another Charlie thought it might be a good idea to celebrate his birthday with another win and took his girlfriend along, and even told her not to bother filming since he didn’t want there to be any record of what he was going to do to the unlucky bum he caught up with.

Unfortunately for Charlie every teen in attendance had a phone with a camera on it and not long after his ‘moral’ victory a great many videos were seen to circulate the web as thousands of people began to comment on the fight and how Charlie had his butt handed to him by someone that was half his size but had been training as a fighter for nearly four years of his life. To put it mildly, the teenager folded Charlie up like a pretzel until he was almost crying from the pain, and then almost didn’t let him go, that is until Charlie’s girlfriend kicked the kid in the side, thereby facilitating another beat down as the 16-year old’s girlfriend returned the favor and left Charlie’s lady with a black eye and a missing tooth. But hey, happy birthday to Charlie!

Oh wait, don’t go, there’s more….

(to be continued)


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