Let’s be honest and say that there are in fact victims in life that don’t have any say in what happens to them and can’t possibly see or expect what’s coming. Victims are very real, things do happen that turn people into the victim in life. But staying there versus moving on and gaining perspective and a measure of control in your life are choices that many people are given throughout their existence. Which way they decide to go will show just what kind of people they choose to be moving forward.
If you couldn’t guess by now, a good part of our nation likes to play the victim card on a regular basis. While many of those that do this have in fact been wronged at one point or another in their lives, and some carry legitimate reasons why they can’t move forward so easily with their lives, others have shown that they CAN move forward, but they choose not to. Instead they choose to cry and piss and moan to any who will listen concerning the reasons why they don’t feel that they get a fair shake in this world.
There are a few ways you can tell when someone is playing the victim card, and we tend to see this on a daily basis depending on which part of the country we’re in.
Just FYI, for those of you that are easily offended, you might want to stop reading, because I’m going to be anything but nice here.
1. These folks tend to refuse to take responsibility for their own lives.
Nothing is their fault, they didn’t contribute to the problem, and therefore they’re entitled to special treatment because they’re ‘traumatized’ on a routine basis when in truth people don’t care to hear about how sad or triggered they are all the time. They might not always claim to be the victim but they’ll sure act the part and point the finger everywhere else but where it’s deserved. The moment they point the finger at themselves and learn that they control their life is a moment that many people rarely ever see.
2. They’re living a go-nowhere existence.
Many such folk think that someone is holding them down, that something is holding them back, when in truth the rest of the world is wondering what the hell their problem is. We have a country where people can do or be anything they want, no matter how they identify or what lifestyle they enjoy. Unfortunately so many of these folks are focused entirely on the negative reaction they create in others with their behavior that they fail to recognize why they’re not moving forward.
3. They tend to hold onto a grudge longer than most.
They don’t let things go, simple as that. They seem to want to hold onto the feelings of persecution and will remember each and every moment of disrespect that they were afforded in order to play the victim. This gives them, in their minds, a sense of accountability that they can hold against others the moment their views are challenged, and this will also give them yet another reason why their life is so much less than they want it to be.
4. They feel powerless whether they admit it or not.
While they might not put this on display for everyone to see the fact is that many such individuals do feel as though they have no control over their lives. Thanks to this they will tend to coerce, manipulate, and use rather underhanded tactics, including brow-beating others who they’ll claim ‘don’t understand’ their situation. Their continual suspicion of others and their motives is a huge symptom of their insecurity.
5. They have serious trust issues.
Such folks might have a core group of people that they trust more than others and likely because those people feel the same way that they do, for good or ill. Whether it’s because they believe that they’re untrustworthy or that the world in general is a dangerous place varies from person to person, but the paranoia that keeps them from trusting others is something that continues the cycle.
6. They tend to be very argumentative, not to mention defensive.
For many people that play this card life is a constant battle no matter if the person speaking to them is trying to make polite conversation. The defenses are continually up with such folks. Plus, many of them will adopt a ‘woe is me’ mentality that might be deserved at times but is still very detrimental to their mental and social well-being. When others can’t or won’t offer them the sympathy or empathy they so badly desire they tend to fold in on themselves and become the victim once again.
7. They become overly critical of others but tend to think that they are perfect the way they are.
This is kind of amusing really since those playing the victim card can look outward and think that anyone and everyone they interact with will be riddled with faults. This gives such people a sense of false superiority that makes them believe that they are in some ways able to gain the moral high ground in many cases. Unfortunately it also gives them a false sense of self since the lack of responsibility makes them perceive themselves as perfect. In effect this inability to take the blame for anything or even acknowledge their own faults comes to make them quite arrogant as well as narcissistic, thereby closing them off from anything they don’t want to deal with.
There are many upon many ways to open a person up and get them to realize what they’re doing when it comes to playing the victim card. But the only person that’s going to make them stop is the one they see in the mirror every day, and until that person can take responsibility for their life it might never change. But to any that play that card on a routine basis, grow up and take a look at the real you. You might discover that people around you have a point.