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We all get angry now and then, some of just know how to handle it better than others and some know how to channel it in a way that is constructive and not destructive. Becoming angry is a series of steps that can go very quickly or can take a while as the emotions continue to collide and build up, creating a rather volatile blend as they smash against one another to finally create a boiling cauldron that will blow if you aren’t careful and cause more damage to you and to those around you due to the fallout you won’t be able to control. Anger is akin to poison in a way, you take it in somehow expecting the person that caused that anger to die from the effects.

In the end though, the only one consumed from the inside by anger is you.

There are many techniques you can utilize when you feel the anger coming on.

Breathing is a good step. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth, and do this nice and easy as you feel your diaphragm move in and out and your breath come in and release out. This can be quite calming if done right and will sometimes have the effect of clearing one’s head and just about anything in it. Unfortunately if there’s resistance it won’t work quite as well, and other methods might be needed.

Counting to ten is something that works for some people but not necessarily everyone. This can actually give a person leave to say that it didn’t work and start throwing punches if the technique fails. It’s not all that common but it can happen. Just walking away, walking around, or taking time to yourself is another good method to use since it allows your mind to wander from the subject that was making you so agitated and thereby see it from a different angle, thereby diffusing the problem a bit.

It might take a little time, but there are a lot of tricks that can be used to dampen one’s anger.

Despite being destructive anger can also be a great motivator.

It’s not an entirely positive example but my first book was written in three months largely because of the anger I felt at the friend that was supposed to be helping me write it. I stayed angry for so long that each and every day after work I would go home, crack a beer, then sit down and write for hours on end until my eyes were drooping and I absolutely had to go to bed. Then I’d wake up early in the morning and start writing again. On weekends I did hardly anything other than write, sometimes writing out 20 to 30 pages and talking to myself, creating entire and very detailed conversations that might have creeped out anyone in the room with me at the time.

Anger can make you focus in a way that isn’t always possible and can actually create opportunities that are sorely needed.

Anger is a personal thing.

How you deal with your anger is up to you since it’s your problem and therefore has to be handled by you. The many different method and techniques that have been introduced over the years do work for many people, but finding the right one for you is going to be a matter of trial and error and might take some time to discover. One thing you need to remember is that holding onto anger doesn’t hurt those that made you angry, it only hurts you.

Anger is like a live grenade in some ways, if you don’t let it go the only one taking the brunt of it is you.

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