There are two sides to every person at the very least, those that are controlled by the baser, more insistent urges that compel us to do what we want, to fulfill our desires regardless of what the cost might be, and to simply enjoy life in any way we see fit without regard for anyone or anything else. There are no morals to this side, no ethics, no law, only pure, basic desire that fuels us and allows for our every wish to be fulfilled. Our darker halves don’t care what happens to others so long as we’re sated, nor does it allow for the kind of compassion that keeps the human race moving forward. It is the side that many seek to deny and many more try to quell on a daily basis as to give in is to accept that there is no meaning to life other than to take what you desire and disregard the rest.
Then there is the side that values others, values life, and seeks to make sense of one’s environment through rationalization and a strong moral code that allows for ethical and rational thinking. There is compassion to this side, a sense of caring that leads to deep, meaningful bonds between individuals that strengthen both and yet weaken them at the same time. This side is far harder to cultivate as it demands much and gives little in the short term but grants great rewards should one stick it out and be patient. The intrinsic feelings that are granted by this side of ourselves are wonderful as they allow people to believe that they are worthy of the attention that others bestow upon them and are grateful for everything they have. In many ways this side is stronger because it requires more fortitude, discipline, and overall strength than anything else.
Yet the dark side of our nature is equally strong, as the temptation to do the wrong thing becomes too great for some and can twist the meaning of anything to its own ends. Yet the darkness can be tempted just as easily by the light, and the constant warring between the two is what makes a human being who they are.
Do you give into the darkness from time to time? Do you stray from the light? Or do you war within your mind over what to do, trying to do what’s right, what’s just, and what you know to offer the higher path?
Many people would argue that they stand for the path of righteousness, that their inner demons have no hold over them, and that they work their hardest to allow their light to shine through.
Personally, I let my inner demons out to play quite often. The worst, the most virulent, and the most disturbing are kept chained and locked away, left to only whisper their poison from afar so that I might take from it what I may, inspiration enough to do what it is that I do, and to fuel the fires that create what spills upon the page. Like many people my light wars with my darkness, and it is a battle that some people would claim the light will always win.
But not mine. Mine will forever create bright skies stained by flames and the touch of conflict, as that is how life is. That is how inspiration remains alive, and that is how a writer survives. Our minds must be the stuff of nightmares from time to time, punctuated only by the gleaming, silvery light that fends it away when needed. A razor’s edge is what a lot of us walk, and that edge is what helps keep us from becoming entirely sane, or descending headfirst into madness.
Our angels and our demons will never rest, because they are the reason why we are who we are.
Be touched by the darkness, and redeemed by the light, but never shy away from the conflict between the two.