Anyone else feel like we live in an era where we have to walk on eggshells with our own kids? You can’t yell at them, can’t reprimand them, can’t even discipline them without someone having an opinion and threatening to call child services. Now let’s get something straight right from the start: abusing your kids is not okay in way, shape, or form, but there is a big, fat, glow in the dark line between abuse and discipline. While some people get it wrong and cross that line without thinking about it others know where it rests and don’t often step over it if at all.
Disciplining your kids, being rough on them, is not abuse, nor is it a bad habit to get into if you have one or more children. The way a lot of us were raised wasn’t perfect, but in this day and age a lot of use that were products of the 50s all the way to the 80s at least know enough to have some self-discipline and can recall what happened if we stepped out of line. We learned to behave, toe the line, and how to deal with people being tough on us. Obviously not everyone born after the 80s is an over-sensitive, entitled brat, but there are far too many that think the world owes them something, which means that as children they were taught that the world would provide whenever they needed anything.
Disabusing your kids of this notion is one big step towards teaching them that the world will provide if they’re willing to work for what they get.
Being tough on a child does not mean dragging them down or making them feel worthless.
There’s no need to tell a child that they are worthless, EVER. So they don’t get something right or can’t figure out just what to do next in a given activity, so what? You stand by them, behind them, wherever you need to, and teach them how to do it. You might need to let them fail a dozen times or more and it might test your patience to the breaking point. But children are tough, they’re resilient, and so long as you lift their spirits while being tough with them they will learn.
The goal isn’t to tear them down by being tough, but to harden their resolve and encourage them when they do something right.
They aren’t perfect, so don’t treat them that way.
Your children might be perfect in your eyes, but treating them this way does not prepare them for the world.
Yes your child is perfect, to YOU. But to the rest of the world they are another child that is meant to do things that children do, to play, to run, to learn, and to be hardened up in a way that will allow them to grow as individuals. Don’t worry that teachers, coaches, and others that interact with your child might be a bit rough on them at times, it is a rite of passage for all of us, so long as it doesn’t cause any lasting damage. People being hard on kids is another part of life that readies them as they grow older. And hey, if you’re not going to do it, then the world your child endures will one way or another.
By being tough on your kid, but fair, you can better prepare them for a world that doesn’t care if they succeed or not.
At one point or another your child will fail, so let them.
You don’t do your child any favors by holding their hand and helping them up every time they fall down. It’s important to be there, to teach them, to guide them, and to make sure that the world doesn’t break them until they’re ready for such a challenge. But don’t coddle them and don’t let them become spoiled, entitled brats that think the world is theirs for the taking. That’s a good way to watch your kid be broken down by a world that won’t stand for an entitled attitude that can’t back such beliefs up. If you want your kid to be truly tough and capable of withstanding this world then you will let them fall, you will let them fail, but you will be there IF they need you.
Being a good parent doesn’t mean coddling your child and raising them to think that you will always be there to kiss their boo-boos and give them whatever they want. You want to be a good parent? Be loving, be kind, but be willing to be tough on your child when it’s warranted.