“No one is responsible for their feelings”, that’s a direct quote from the clip you see above, and it’s one of the many seemingly erroneous statements made within this TEDx Talk session that could have rubbed any number of people the wrong way. Talking about pedophiles has that effect unfortunately and it is a topic that many upon many people would gladly get up in arms about. Defending their way of life and claiming that their feelings are anything close to the approximation of ‘normal’ however is something that a large number of people would have a serious issue with.
The idea of normalcy is always up for grabs. But the idea of loving children as one would love an adult is not.
It has been seen that there are those pedophiles that do not molest children but instead admire them from afar and are pained by the fact that they cannot act on their desires and impulses for fear of what society would do to them or how they would be seen. But in terms of the choices we make, that is in fact a choice to resist the urge to do anything, which in the eyes of society is the right choice. In some ways it is the same choice that a smoker or an alcoholic might make when refraining from a lifestyle that many others see as negative and quite harmful. While there are vast differences between pedophilia, smoking, and alcoholism, the effect is about the same, people struggle against their decisions and attempt to stifle their urges so as to be seen acceptable by society.
Being normal and feeling comfortable in your own skin sometimes means giving in to those urges, but the harm this causes wars with the idea that people need to feel normal in order to function. Many people gladly say that loving a child in the same manner as they would an adult is not normal, nor is it even close to being acceptable. Children are not ‘little adults’, as they are not developed enough to understand the needs and wants of a pedophile, nor is their innocence meant to be up for grabs.
The truth is that you cannot penalize someone for their fantasies and thoughts, no matter how repugnant it might be to you.
Looking on the other side of pedophilia, from those that engage in such fantasies, is a difficult thing to do, but one thing that needs to be said, and it’s true unfortunately, is that the moment we start penalizing people for what they think and what they fantasize about in the privacy of their own minds is the moment our society will fall. Some might argue that it already has or has been in the process for some time, but by making it illegal to feel or fantasize in certain ways, we become dominated by laws that make it impossible to be human and have freedom of choice.
The idea of pedophilia is absolutely disgusting to many, including myself, but even I will admit that we cannot simply force people to think another way. Pedophiles are locked within their own minds when it comes to the desires and urges they feel, since society has, rightfully in my mind and many others, said that loving children and seeing them as sexual objects is not, nor will it be tolerated. It is easy enough to tolerate the thoughts a person has if they do not act on them, but the moment they become actions is when society will come down like a hammer on those that do not follow the rules as they’ve been laid out.
Did this woman have the right to defend pedophiles? Absolutely. Do pedophiles have the right, no matter how disgusting it is, to fantasize about children? Yes they do. But defending them and saying that they have no choice when it comes to their actions, or how they feel, is a trick bit of business. No one has the right to tell another how to feel, but guaranteed, if a pedophile ever looked at my children and appeared a little too intent on watching them, they would be ‘feeling’ something rather hard and forceful in a very tender spot in the next moment.
I speak as a parent, not a rational human being on this matter, and in doing so I might be in the wrong. But being a parent one is not always given over to rational thinking. Defending pedophilia is a very controversial undertaking, and there’s no wonder as to why this woman had to request that this video be taken down, as the threats against her life for daring to speak in such a manner were not at all surprising. They weren’t right, but they should have been expected.