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Anacortes, WA

December 4th, 2018

Looking down on her brother as he was sleeping she felt the words she’d spoken yesterday warring with the darker desires she held back most days. No, she was never mad at her brother, but she was plenty mad at a lot of other people. Her parents for starters, for leaving them when they needed someone the most. She was mad at Clinton a lot right now since he didn’t do much of anything except use their apartment as a place to crash and tried to get in her pants when he was drunk. But she wasn’t even really mad at Todd to be honest.

But she was never mad at Linus. She knew that she’d done a couple of things that werent’ right, she’d lobbed a shoe at him to get him to stop looking at her while she was going to the bathroom once or twice, but that couldn’t be helped. Linus wasn’t a pervert, but when he wanted something and she was indisposed he had a habit of just hanging around until he got your attention. Both times she’d tossed a shoe at him it had never been hard, but it had hurt his feelings, and she’d felt like dirt the moment after.

But she couldn’t bring herself to blame him for much of anything in this world. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, as though nothing in the world bothered him any longer, and he could rest easy knowing that no one was going to call him names or torment him in any way. He was damaged in a way that couldn’t be fixed, but he was still her brother, and she’d refused to have him put into a home. The biggest reason was that while he was soft in the head, so to speak, he could still function as a human being, meaning he could help her around the house, help her go grocery shopping, could make some of his own decisions, and could also be counted on to stay put when she went to work.

That’s what confused her about why he’d been outside. Todd had tried to explain, and a part of her had wanted to listen, but she’d been more concerned with Linus at that moment, and the fact that Todd had stuck his nose in her business. Of course, it didn’t help that Clinton had called her brother a retard, or had gone after Todd as she’d seen from a distance. It was just, well, she didn’t want it to be known that she absolutely needed someone to come to her rescue. She didn’t want to be seen as weak, especially when she’d been able to handle Clinton on her own for so long.

Leaving her brother’s room she heaved a silent sigh. Maybe it was time for things to change. As she rubbed her hands together however she suddenly realized that something obviously had.

(to be continued)

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