History has it out for me. There have been minor changes here and there but nothing huge like I was hoping for. No matter what I do there’s no monumental shift when it comes, no serious recognition that follows me back here. It’s as though my presence in the past is just vapor, something that might be noticed at that point but forgotten the moment it’s gone. History is a mean bitch it seems, and continually sets itself the way that it was before I got involved.
I went back and tried to kill Hitler before he could come to power. Somehow the gun I was using jammed and instead of bringing down der Furher a pair of his SS guards that were on hand at that time tortured me for days on end before I finally expired. The things they did to me would have broken anyone that had anything to tell, but I was just waiting for the end and hoping I’d make it back. And when I got back? In the history books, some of them that I fervently looked through anyway, there was a small blurb here and there about how Hitler was interested in time travel.
That’s it, that’s all.
I went further back and tried to snuff out Genghis Khan before he became responsible for his mass murdering ways, I tried to smother Joseph Stalin in his sleep as a baby, I’ve gone back to so many different individuals trying to find my way into history and all of it, every last deed, has been swallowed up throughout my efforts. Only blurbs here and there that are highly debated and not at all substantiated are left behind. It’s like I was a ghost for each trip, though I don’t know of a lot of ghosts that can bleed and scream like I can. Well, maybe the screaming part isn’t accurate…
But dammit, I want my name in those books. It’s a quest now, and obsession, and I mean to see it through even if it’s driving me a bit nuts. It was a curiosity until now, but at this point I’ve already selected my next target, and I can only hope that the force that’s making this possible will understand my need. So far it hasn’t stopped me yet.
Hopefully it stays impartial…
(to be concluded)