Ever had someone ask you a question and then get really mad at you after you give them an honest answer? Sure, it’s happened to a lot of us and we were probably called mean, rude, or even an asshole, or worse, because we told them something they didn’t want to hear even if it was the truth. It’s odd how that works sometimes, especially if people want you to be honest. It’s even stranger if they ask you for the honest, brutal truth. The moment you tell them you become the bad guy for giving it to them in a manner that they believed they were prepared for but in reality somehow had no idea what was coming.
People don’t want their illusions shattered, and many folks will gladly give them an answer that is honest enough but still holds something back so that they can spare the person’s feelings. In some regard this is the nice thing to do, as it spares them from feeling down about themselves and can possibly keep them from getting too depressed. But the downside is that they get depressed anyway when they either run into someone that will give them the hard truth or find it out on their own.
In all honesty being nice is great, but if you’re being nice to someone that wants the honest to goodness truth then you’re not doing them any favors by enabling their illusions. There are times when it’s deemed okay to do this as it wouldn’t make a lot of sense to destroy a person with the stark, ugly truth. But it’s all a matter of knowing when to reveal something and when it wouldn’t serve any valid point.
People are going to do whatever it takes to build themselves up.
Even when people hear the truth they might just figure you’re being mean for your own reasons and will go on being who they want to be and believing what they want. Don’t bother to explain yourself in such situations. Those people that ask for the truth and can’t handle won’t spend the time to listen to what you have to say, so quite honestly it’s not worth the breath. Let them keep their illusions until the right person or situation exposes the fact that the hard truths they’ve been hiding from are quite real.
You’re not in charge of their wake-up call.