Ever wonder where the line is drawn when it comes being yourself and being the bad guy? Ever hear the line “nice guys finish last”? Well if you have then you’ve probably straddled the line between free expression and being a pain in the backside a time or two in your life. Some people toe that line and some jump over it with both feet for various reasons. Some folks think it’s better to be bad do you don’t have to waste time being polite while others take the inconvenience and stick to the positive side of the line while getting walked on by those that hop back and forth across it continually. So where’s the balance in all this? Well, to be honest, there is none. The only balance is what you’ll make all on your own, and even then it’s a slippery slope once you reach that neutral point, and you’re bound to come down on side or the other.
On the upside, being able to navigate both sides of the metaphorical line makes for a much stronger individual at times, whereas staying put on either side has its advantages but limits a person’s experience at times. Yes, you can be a pain in the ass and still be a nice person, and you can still consider the feelings of others and do just as you please when you please. The balance point has nothing to do with society, and everything to do with YOU.
It’s a fine line to walk between being a jerk and a nice guy.
A lot of people can’t handle it since it’s so tempting to get your way and do anything to make that happen, but a lot of folks tend to have a least something of a conscience and can’t just go on hurting people’s feelings without pause. A lot of think that we might be able to do it and some actually get that far, but eventually they find out that it’s a rather lonely and hollow existence since few if any people want to hang around you for that long. It takes someone that really cares about a jerk to hang around at all, and even then it’s not something that people want to do for a prolonged period of time unless they have an out, or an alternative method of coping.
Confidence is often what sets jerks and nice guys apart, and that’s a hard balance to work.
There are people that can do this mind you, but they’re pretty rare regardless of what you might think. Those folks that are good-looking, have a great disposition, and are friendly to everyone they meet are kind of like a real life Easter egg, a hidden surprise that you don’t often notice until someone points them out. While they have the physical and behavioral attributes that people love to see they also have that one key ingredient that so many people on either side of the line seem to be missing: confidence. Being confident in yourself is something that a lot of people, jerks and nice folks alike, are lacking. The false confidence of a jerk is usually chalked up to bravado and a false front that’s hiding someone who’s still unsure of themselves beneath that veneer, while the nice folks are just insecure and unable to muster up the courage to do much of anything when it comes to expressing themselves. But if you want the real trick of being able to straddle the line between being a nice person and a jerk, then you absolutely need to have confidence.
One thing about being a jerk, especially for a guy, is that a lot of times women seem drawn to the jerk and tend to ‘friendzone’ the nice guys.
You had to know this was coming when speaking of confidence, jerks, and nice guys. This is one of the oldest stories in the history of humanity. The confident guy that treats everyone like crap, including the women he seduces, is the one that gets to live the carefree life and seemingly have everything and any woman that he wants. The woman thinks she’s landed the perfect guy only to find that he’s an unrepentant jerk and won’t change, and is then left in the cold because he won’t put up with what she wants. It doesn’t happen all the time, and some nice guys manage to finish first by mustering their confidence, but this is the norm that’s seen and pushed far too often, and unfortunately it’s what can happen.
There’s no guarantee that a nice guy would take care of a woman they like, but there’s a good chance that she’ll at least be treated right during the date and not like a cheap bimbo to be used up and tossed away later. The thing about nice guys is that they might lack confidence a lot of times, but they at least know how to respect a woman. And while the nice guy might bore you to death they won’t make you cry.
Heck if you tell the nice guys what you want they might even be willing to change on the spot for you. It can happen.
The point of all this? Being a jerk tends to get results, but it’s a short-term answer for life’s many challenges, and a non-starter as far as a lifestyle goes. You want to be the nice guy? Toughen up a little bit and keep that polite attitude, but don’t be afraid to get a little bit rough around the edges at times. Ride that slippery slope.