What does it mean to be married? There are so many different ways to describe it, but really the one thing that any marriage needs is two people that actually want to be together. That’s one of the most basic building blocks of a marriage that many people seem to trip over that it’s a wonder that some of them ever get married. One thing marriage ISN’T, is finding someone that you can tolerate for a few minutes or a day at a time and then thinking you want them in your life on a continual basis where it becomes nearly impossible to get away from them for a prolonged period of time. Of course if you can get away from them it says the same thing: you weren’t ready and you rushed it. Marriage isn’t something that can be obtained by snapping your fingers and tying the metaphorical knot while expecting everything to turn out as it does in the movies and on TV.
Life isn’t quite that simple when it comes to tying your life to another person’s. You want to know why? Love, which is required for a SUCCESSFUL marriage, not necessarily for ALL marriages, takes time and it takes more than a few days to grow into something strong enough to give you the courage to say “I’m ready.”
No one’s ever fully ready for marriage, no matter what a person says. You can be as convinced as anything that you’re ready to get hitched and start your great life together, but something will always come along that’s going to test your faith in each other and in your bond, and if you aren’t ready then it’s going to hit you with the force of a runaway freight train, metaphorically-speaking.
Incompatibility issues can really damage a marriage at any stage.
You might think that you get along with your partner in the beginning, but as marriages go along you tend to find out things about your partner that you either didn’t see when you weren’t married or that have developed along the way. These tiny and sometimes very noticeable peccadilloes, or faults as some might call them, occur quite naturally when people are sharing the same space day in and day out, but they’re not imperfections unless a person sees them that way. It could be anything from a personal habit to something major that would benefit from a healthy line of communication, but there will always be something. How you deal with these issues, big or small, is what will make your marriage stronger, or cause it to crumble. To be compatible with your partner you need to talk with one another and make things as clear as possible. If your partner leaves their wet toothbrush on the sink instead of in a cup then tell them if it bothers you. Sometimes the smallest things can lead to the biggest breakups.
Compromise is key to any marriage.
Ever heard of the saying that you have to give to get? It’s true in a marriage and is more or less another way that a bond can be strengthened or shattered. A good marriage won’t be about “me” or “mine” or even “I” all the time. Sure those words will be said and the sentiments will be used, but the “we”, “ours”, and “us” are far more important words to remember when thinking of how anything affects you when you’re connected to someone. What happens to you will affect your partner, and in that regard you must often think of whether what you want is the best for both of you or if you need to give a little in regards to your spouse. For instance, going out on the town with the guys for the night might mean drinking and having a good time, but chances are your spouse, if they stay at home, will be worrying about you constantly. In a marriage, thinking about your spouse, their feelings, and learning to take them into consideration is quite important. Sometimes you’ll need to compromise in order to make sure that your spouse is kept happy and feeling secure in your relationship. It’s not always a happy moment to compromise but in the long-term your relationship can flourish so long as both sides are willing to give and take as is needed.
Rushing in isn’t just a foolish thing to do, it’s a sure way to failure in a marriage.
This isn’t true all the time, as some people possess the kind of compatibility that would make such a relationship work. But typically rushing into a marriage for one reason or another tends to leave a lot of unknowns left between you and your spouse. You might not know if you’re truly the right one for each other, or you might come to find out that there are simply too many issues in your, or their life to deal with. Marriage isn’t something that flowers when its rushed, as it’s a step that has to be taken in its own due time and performed when the moment feels right. It’s hard to define that moment in words, but many people have felt it in their lives, that certainty that you’ve met the right one, that they will honor and cherish you just as you do them. Of course some people tend to force the feeling even after several inner warnings and red flags, but the overall feeling is something that is hard to deny when it blooms fully in a persons heart. Rushing in is never a good idea since there’s no telling if your marriage will bloom or simply wither on the vine. Taking your time, making sure that your’e with the right person, and making certain that they are as invested as you are in this relationship is vital. Otherwise you’re simply looking for the next ex-wife or husband each and every time you put yourself on the market.
So what does it mean to be married?
Being married means you’re no longer alone for one thing. It means that you’ve found your better half in a way, someone that balances you out, that can grow with you, learn with you, and love every day spent in your company. You won’t always get along, there will be days when you don’t see eye to eye, and that’s great. You’re not meant to agree all the time, as human beings you’ll get on each others nerves and you’ll discover that there are habits that each of you have that you don’t particularly like. But at the end of the day you’ll also find that none of that matters. You’ll realize that because you found that person that brings balance to your life that everything can be forgiven, that you will love them no matter what comes, and you will seek to be their balance as well. There will be hard times no doubt, and there will be struggle occasionally, but the meaning of marriage is that you have a bond with someone that will be your rock in the hard times and your port in the storm.
Marriage means you don’t have to go at this life alone, and you can be all the stronger for it.