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At one point in history adoption was treated almost like a dirty word, something that people would only whisper about and possibly never consider unless they wanted to be ostracized from their community. It was a source of pride to have your own children and to say that they were 100% your own. Adopted kids were at one point seen as little more than a burden to place on a family and at times were treated differently as well, almost with a kind of gentle neglect as they were not considered to be the same as those that were born into the family. Thankfully that practice, which is as much rumor as it is unfortunate fact, is no longer something that people ascribe to. Adoption is in fact a blessing for both the child/children as well as the adopting family. In many ways adoption is a chance at a life that children that are stuck in the system might never have known.

Yet for all the positives there are negatives concerning adoption to be considered as well. One might wonder what those could possibly be, but quite often such factors are pushed aside in favor of reminding people that there are in fact children waiting to be adopted that need a home. However the reason why they need a home can be rather tragic or in some cases borderline criminal.

Adoption can be a blessing, but it can also come with some seriously negative connotations.

The biological mother is at times pressured into believing that she has no other option but to give her child up for adoption.

This is not necessarily what is done as a common practice, but it has been seen to happen. Too often the biological mother might be too young, have suffered a rape, not been on birth control, or has neither the responsibility nor the inclination to care for a child. Unfortunately women that exhibit any of these characteristics are in a very vulnerable state at this time and can be far too easy to coerce. While adoption is a means to give their child a better life than they can provide, there might also be the chance of offering a guardianship to another family member, thereby giving the woman time to come to grips with being a mother. This isn’t the most common decision that’s been seen, but it is a possibility.

Homosexual couples are still underrepresented when it comes to adoption.

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This is still an issue if you can believe it, as some people still contend that same-sex couples are not and will never be fit to raise a child without somehow poisoning their minds. While the consensus about this has changed there is still some dissension that remains largely due to what some might call a ‘deviant lifestyle’. Statistically however children raised in a same-sex home are just as safe and as emotionally balanced as their peers. The issue has more to do with the personal views of those that don’t agree with the lifestyle of same sex couples than it does with the children, who tend to reflect the very loving and safe environment in which they are raised.

Adoption is not always the only choice, but that is an issue for the biological mother to decide.

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In the end it comes down to what the mother wants to do. Adoption is a very strong and lasting decision that each and every mother has to make. There are times when the mother cannot hope to take care of their child and through an act of love decides to give them up to a home and a couple that can care for them. Whether they desire an open adoption or not is their decision, but the impact this has on the child varies no matter the research.

Having been adopted I know very well the uncertainty and the questions that arise from wondering who one’s birth mother was, and why they decided not to keep me. It is an empty hole in one’s heart that can be filled if one allows it. Adoption is not an act of industry or of desperation, but instead is a chance to give a child the kind of life they need to grow and flourish in this world. Whether they are adopted by a same-sex or opposite-sex couple they are bound to be loved and cherished as adoption is the act of choosing to give a child one’s time, affection, and undying love.

2 Comments

  1. Excellent read. I enjoy topics that are designed to make others aware of our past and reality.

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